The Pursuit Of Normalcy

Bananas, Dosas and Mallikas

2012-01-20T05:29:00.000-08:00

I have a few points that don't merit a post by themselves, so I thought I'd put them all together. Also, I wanted to give my readers something to read. Fine fine, you caught me...I wanted to update the blog so I posted this. Now run along and read. Or better yet, read and then promote my blog y'all ;)

Yesterday when I was in office at around 7:30 P.M.(still), I coughed. You should know that when I cough, Rajnikanth closes his ears.
Anyway, I rushed home as fast as I could. I wanted to hit the sack as soon as possible(after eating Maggi and watching half a season of Dexter, that is). And guess what I see right next to my building?
A cultural program(that's not so bad), where people were singing(the fuck...that guy just raped Rahman's song!) and cheap guys were standing all around(I am not even hot, what the hell is wrong with you!).
Well, being the optimist that I am I just plugged in the earphones and watched Dexter hack a guy to death with a mallet. Ah peace.
At about 10:30 P.M., I decided to sleep after drugging myself. I had heard somewhere that sarakku helps during a cold. But then I had weird thoughts like "What if the stuff reacts with the medicines I just took and bursts in the stomach the way Pepsi and Mentos kills people?", so I decided against it.
There was no noise outside so I assumed the program was over. And that is when a man announced that they would be singing Kalasala Kalasala.

Kalasala Kalasala Kalasala Kalasala
Oh god no.
Mallika is cold like a cucumber
Pillow on face.
My dear darling, Mallika is calling you
Am I actually trying dance along with the song by varying my breathing patterns? STOP IT!

This next point might get me into trouble because a lot of people related to me read this blog. But whatever. So recently I met one US return and you know how I feel about them. I tried being civil though. We went out for some good ol' South Indian breakfast and this person orders a dosa.
And then you know what this person says? "Like, oh my god, this place is so authentic! Look how the dosa is...so authentic. Wow so messy....and so authentic". Every time that person said the word authentic with that irritating throaty tone, I wanted to wring that person's neck. But like the good girl I am, I kept quiet and inhaled two dosas faster than light.

Recently, I was taking the help of a superior. I was supposed to produce 2 files result1 and result2 which were strikingly similar. So I by mistake produced the same file twice and saved it as A and B What happened next is one of the funniest things that has happened to me since joining work.

S: So which file is result1?
Me: A is result1.
S: And what is B?
Me: result2.
S: But looks like A and B is the same.
Me: Nope.
S: Wait. Look at the files. Now tell me...what is A?
Me: result1.
S: And B?
Me: result....oh. It's result1 only.
S: You watch tamizh movies?
Me: Yeah. Why?
S(laughing): Because this is like the vazhapazham comedy.

Sooooo funny and embarrassing at the same time!

Players - The Review

2012-01-09T00:37:00.000-08:00

Me: I am bored.
Amma: *Rolling her eyes* Oh, what a surprise. If you're bored, come help me in the kitchen no?
Me: Please...I am not that bored.
Amma: Fate! Idhukku oru chedi vechirindha poo aoodhu vandhurkum. Cha vaadi!(Translation: Instead of you, if I had kept a plant, at least I would've got flowers. Cha come here!)
Me: Ammaaaaaaa, I am watching something important on TV. I can't come!
Brother: Are you watching Godzilla on Sun TV?

And that is how, ladies and gentleman, I ended up in the theater to watch Players. Why anyone would watch the movie is as big a mystery as why anyone would want to see Veena Malik nude.But that's another story. So, the star power behind this script is:

Abhishek Bachchan: Playing the gay mastermind for the zth time. He plans the entire heist. He changes it whenever he wants. He wears pink shirts over orange pants with floral stoles. He is the man. And both Bipasha and Sonam are in love with him. Why do women always go for guys who aren't available?

Bobby Deol: He plays the illusionist. And what a great job he does...halfway through the movie he disappears, saving the audience a world of Bobby-related pain. For this very reason, he is my favourite character in the movie.

Sikander Kher: He appears in a dual role, playing a bomb expert and a plank of wood all at the same time! It's just not as easy as it looks, eh Mr. Kher? He is not just half-deaf in this movie. He is also half-dumb, judging by the number of dialogues he has.

Bipasha Basu: According to the trailer, she is a con artist. But I think that's a typo...she is actually the cans artist judging by the size and visibility of that rack. However, I have to admit Ms. Basu helped the director duo with their tight budget by sacrificing all her clothes. The sweetheart. Say it with me, people....Awwwwwwww!

Sonam Kapoor: Gold medalist in Computer Science? Fine. Such a good driver that she opts for circular parking instead of parallel parking(Check out 1:05-1:12)? I can accept that too. But what I cannot digest, is Sonam Kapoor's acting. She has just two expressions in the movie:

BFD(Before Father's Death): Happy and vomiting sunshine everywhere
AFD(After Father's Death): Constipation

Omi Vaidya: The comedian and the saving grace of the movie, Omi is a breath of fresh air in this otherwise stale, recycled script.

Neil Nitin Mukesh: The hacker. Although he does less of hacking and more of back-stabbing and chick-banging. After he turns villain, it's almost impossible to bear him because all he does is speak to his voice-controlled house(technology at its very ridiculous worst) in a sexy voice saying "Open the door, baby", "Next picture, baby", "Rub my neck, baby"...well, not the last one but you get the idea.

And this motley crew comes together in the following plot:

- Gold being transported from Russia to ^some place I forget^ by train

- Players get together to formulate a plan that will put Kindergarteners to shame. They get a train to run parallel to the gold train and steal the gold. By the way, the gold train has all sorts of protection. It has 3 boogies- the first and last contain horny Russian commandos(why horny? Because more than paying attention to the gold being transported, they are immersed talking to their partners) and the one in the middle contains the gold. Funny thing is the middle boogie has only 4 armed highly trained Russian commandos who are easily defeated by unarmed Abhishek's graceful ballet kick. Yup. Just THE man!

- Neil turns psycho back stabber and kills everyone. How do Abhishek, deaf guy and Omi escape after swimming in glacial water? Ah, silly viewer! The director duo has taken care of all the gaping potholes in the script by giving a scenic backdrop. So while they swim in water cold enough to yield polar bear Popsicles, the audience is shown the virgin blanket of snow in Russia.
How is it that Neil can smuggle an entire cupboard of gold easily while you have to declare that measly gold chain you're wearing at airport customs? Feast your eyes on the beautiful Auckland skyline!
How does a Russian General sing Raj Kapoor songs with ease? Shame on you...Bipasha is dancing in a costume which even Mowgli of Jungle Book wouldn't wear and you are bothered about the Russian General? Fool!

- Abhishek and his Players get the gold back from Neil. How? Sonam flaunts her assets while the rest of the Players steal the gold. They drive the most conspicuous cars in the universe(red, yellow and blue mini coopers) to transport the gold to Johnny Lever's garage.
In the process, Bipasha is shown to be in cahoots with Neil, and she is shot at the end. And Sonam shoots Neil for killing her father. Why didn't I mention the father before? Tsk tsk, don't get hung up on the technicalities.

- In his last few breaths, Neil informs the Russian mafia(whaaaaaaaaaat? I thought there was only Italian mafia!) that the Players have escaped with the gold. The mafia confront the Players who are now driving the mini coopers. When they check the cars however, there's no gold. *GASP*
Where could it be? Here comes the final(thank the lord) twist in the story...remember that loose end about the cars being in Johnny Lever's garage? Well, he made three mini coopers of gold. Vechchaan aapu directoru!

And that is how Players provided me enough entertainment and motivation to come up with a blog post. Thank you, Abbas-Mustan. Thank you so much!

- Happy New Year to all my readers :)

Games People Play

2011-12-19T05:23:00.000-08:00

Office is boring. Seriously. Most of my work involves waiting. Waiting for a superior to criticize my work. Waiting for lunch time to arrive. Waiting for the distraction that will occupy my team giving me the chance to escape. You get the idea! So, creative people like me find ways to pass time in office. Like:

How many soggy Monaco biscuits can I pick up in a single draw?
This game gets me nostalgic, teary-eyed and bad-mouthed because it reminds me of 'The Claw' game in cheesy arcades. I have never ever won anything from that game. That sucker must have swallowed half my pocket money(and my pocket money wasn't much to begin with). At least at office, these expired biscuits are for free.

Staring at the one hot girl who is on your floor(yay)
Thank God for small miracles. And by that I mean mini-skirts. Because let me tell you, this girl is hot. Even the women in my office cannot keep their eyes off of her. Yes, when she passes by I feel like I am choking to death because she smells like she took bath with perfume in a bathroom full of scented candles and used a towel made of rose petals, but the view compensates for it.
Of course it is kinda awkward when your male teammate's eyes and your eyes follow Hot Girl. And unfortunately, your eyes meet and both of you are calling each other "PERVERT" in your mind. I imagine this is how guys feel about making eye contact at urinals.

Stalk. Stalk. Stalk. And then stalk some more.
Stalkers these days really have it easy, I tell you. Facebook has made things so much easier.
No more following the person around all day to know what they're doing. Your Object Of Desire(OOD) might just check in to watch Twilight:Breaking Dawn with a caption like "Team Edward xoxo"(if you still like her after all this, you suck. Geddit? Geddit? Ah forget it!).
No more hiding in bushes to see your OOD sleeping. Her Facebook profile picture collection is enough. Who looks good when they're sleeping, anyway?

Tab switching.
This should just speak for itself. You can do whatever shit you want in office, as long as you don't get caught. The secret here is reflexes. Also the thumb rule is:

If you want to check out Mitchell Johnson's abs,
Make sure you have other Wikipedia/Google tabs.

Pretty simple, innit? Discretion is advised in office. And you don't want your manager staring at you staring at that ripped stomach. Droooooooooooooooooooooool.

Slip ups

2011-12-14T03:39:00.001-08:00

You know what a foot in the mouth situation is, don't you? It happens when you say or do something extremely stupid and then you realize it a minute later when you see the amused/shocked expressions on people's faces around you and then you just go on to make it worse. Well, yours truly(and my friends around me too) have been involved in many such situations. A small compilation for you to laugh at our expense!

Note: These friends haven't been notified that I am writing this stuff. So I am using initials, like I always do.

1)
Where: Rockfort Train -Trichy to Chennai
When: College, 1st year
Who: Yours Truly
What: I always wake up an hour before the train reaches the destination. You know, what with my luck with travel I figured it would be better not to wake up in the middle of the jungle and have Demento...oh that's a whole other story. Anyways, there I am sleeping and I wake up the entire compartment with my alarm. I decide to take a quick nap. Well, needless to say when I wake up I see "Mambalam" pulling away.
I grab my suitcases and go to the door and see this guy framing the door and trying to give some hero pose. I tell him to move. And he says the train's moving. So I say "DUH! Get out and help me get my luggage down!". And after muttering "Loosu. Paityam." a million times he gets off and starts running along the train. And I threw my suitcases at him. He gets in and tells me I am mad(not a new discovery, buddy). I stood there figuring out at what speed and how long I should run after I jump out the train(Physics genius, man). So I jumped.
One small hiccup...I forgot which direction to run in. I end up running in the direction opposite to the motion of the train and I fell flat on my face. And my uncle who was supposed to pick me up along with half of Chennai were there to see me sprawled spread-eagled kissing the platform. Bummer.

2)
Where: Karate Class
When: College, 2nd year
Who: R, my very close friend
What: This senior guy's teaching us some kicks, right. And he goes on to teach us the groin kick. The barn was really noisy so we couldn't really hear but once he started showing us the kick, we *ahem* knew what it was called. But not R. Nooooooo! The following conversation ensued and I swear to God it's the funniest thing I have ever heard.
R: What is it called?
S(Senior guy): Umm groin kick.
R: Oh row-end kick?(I know. I have no idea how she heard that.)
S: Yes yes groin kick.
R: So the direction of force of the kick is upwards?
S: *Getting increasingly uncomfortable at this point* Yes yes.
R: So it's used to push IT up?
All of us were like "R, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE?! SHUT UP!"
S: Uh yes it is to push it up(looking at the ceiling, floor, anywhere where we girls weren't there)
Needless to say, when we later told R what the name of the kick was, she was suicidal. It was funny for us though :P

3)
Where: My room
When: College, 2nd year
Who: Yours truly
What: You thought that only Apple users have difficulty in typing because of auto-correct? Nokia should feature in that list too, I tell you. We were giddy with power in 2nd year because we could rag juniors now. We weren't the lowest layer of scum anymore..yay! But I took ragging to another level. I was just messaging some junior girl(forgot who...but whoever it is, she must be scarred for life) to ask her to come to my room. So I type "Hey, come to my room."(I know..I'm so awesome I use commas and fullstops while typing) and I send it.
A little background information about me before I go on. People think I am gay. People call me Gay. Guess it's convenient since my name is Gaya and all. So this point is twice as funny. Moving on.
Little did I know that I had pressed the button below the one that contains the letter H. So in the end, the message read "Sex, come to my room.". I think that day I gave the word "ragging" a whole new dimension.

I'm in a relationship

2011-12-05T01:08:00.001-08:00

Yes, people. I am in a relationship. And it sucks. Why are people so desperate to get committed, I say? Idiots all these people. And now I am one of them.
Oh you wanna know his name? Sure sure. His name is WORK. Though I do call him pain in the ass affectionately. The similarities between a boyfriend and work are striking.

So, initially work was awesome. That is, I hardly had any. What I had was Freedom. To do what I want, when I want, how I want. Yes, in between I had to pretend like I knew stuff and read a few links here and there to impress but no huge ramifications came out of it.
I am guessing this is what they call the honeymoon period in relationships, eh?

Then, the whole jealous phase started. Trying to draw me away from my friends so that I pay more attention to pain in the ass. Setting "deadlines". Taking top priority by reminding me that he is the one who pays for my food.

Getting me to question my life style.
- Do you really think drinking that is a good idea?
- Night show? Will you be able to wake up in time?
- You cannot go home so soon. Important meeting. Muhahaha.

And many other similarities which I cannot remember right now because I am so bugged with pain in the ass. Of course, work does have its moments. Like this one time when I completed work before a deadline and I thought I was the next Mark Zuckerberg. Yeeeeeaaaaaah, that feeling didn't last long. Here I am before another deadline, writing rather than working because I have no idea what the frick I am working on. Now, isn't that just sad? The only thing making this worthwhile? It's the Ka-Ching. Yeah, I am such a sellout.

P.S.: Murphy's Law's favourite victim is me! I swear. The other day I was watching Eminem's Superman video. Which is probably the worst video to watch when you're in office. EVER. And suddenly I hear my manager's voice so I close the Mozilla window. Phew crisis averted. Or not. Because just then my manager looks at my laptop. And I turned to my laptop and see Eminem mounting the stupid blonde. And a pop-up from Mozilla asking me if I am sure if I want to close all 6 tabs. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

What We Say, What Parents Hear

2011-11-14T04:56:00.001-08:00

In case, my parents are reading this: Love you :) :P

I am going out with my friends.
And by friends, of course I mean, lots of boys. So please keep calling every ten minutes.
There's this guy in my office.
And the fact that I disclosed the gender, obviously means I am going to marry him very soon. Oh and he isn't even TamBrahm. How's that for rubbing it in, huh?
Today was such a bad day at office. I just want to stop working.
Take. Horoscope. Now!
I'm feeling quite hungry.
Means I did not have breakfast, lunch and dinner.Don't even think about the most logical reason: I have the appetite of a woolly mammoth. No way, Jose!
How is she pregnant so soon? She got married less than a year back!
Don't mistake this as a rhetorical question. I really want to hear you say "You're too small to know such things" to your 22-year old daughter!
I was just watching a scary movie. But it wasn't scary at all.
Although secretly it was. So scary that now I want you to tell me to pray to God, put Vibhuthi on my forehead, drink warm milk before sleeping and keep chanting Ram Ram.
I got my salary today.
And I finished spending all of it today.
Oh my god, Ranbir Kapoor is so hot!
Please tell me about how he must have slept with a 1000 girls. Yes, that will change my mind. After all, that is what girls look for when they fantasize about hot guys. ~~Gayness~~ Decency.
Ah I have nothing to do. Just relaxing at home during the weekend.

I feel so lonely. Could you please call everyone you know in my city and tell them I am coming to visit even though it takes me 2 hours to just get there? You already did that? Gee, thanks mom!
*No answer on the phone*
I am extremely angry with you. No, I am dying. Oh wait wait, I am dead already!

How to make a Ra.One

2011-11-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

Well, Ra.One has raked in the big bucks. And I mean BIG bucks all over the world. This movie has brought Bollywood "on par" with Hollywood - now isn't that what we want?
Anyhoo, considering that there are many horrible movies coming up in Bollywood(think Himesh Reshammiya's/Akshay Kumar's upcoming ventures), I decided to rescue the fate of Bollywood, G.One style! I have the foolproof recipe to prepare a blockbuster. Film makers, take notice!

Ingredients

1 Hero - And I am talking about a manly hero, through and through. In the real sense of the word, you know. With shaped eyebrows, botoxed skin, make-up to cover the wrinkles, and last but not the least, a 6-pack. Because a hero isn't a hero till his stomach looks like a Hershey's chocolate bar
1 Heroine - Buxom, should smile and shy away quite a bit, has a slight hint of ambition but gives it all up to support the hero, should dance and sing AND drop clothes(in a foreign location) when a song comes on
1 Villain - Should be bald and have a better body than the hero, should have tattoos or piercings(because nothing else effectively screams bad guy), should kidnap someone close to hero
1 Rich Guy - Should have straight hair, should wear suits(preferably with colours and materials such aluminium foil and animal prints), should have sold his soul to the devil. This character can also be combined with the villain's character sometimes
1 Kid - Should have the illusion of innocence. Note how I say illusion here. He can openly cuss, insult elders, etc. as long as his height is under 5 feet and he drinks Horlicks in the morning
A Pinch of Racist Humour - Where will Bollywood go with this kind of humour? The answer is: It will go places. Seriously, just throw in an over-enthusiastic, overweight Punjaabi/a Tamilian(or Mallu or Telugu...doesn't matter. In the end, we are all Madrasis anyway) saying Aiyyo before and after every word/an Assamese being mistaken for a foreigner and you are set to go
1 Item Song - It doesn't even have to be that good. Just make sure everyone in the song covers only 10% of their body and the heroine's face is stuck mid-orgasm. That is all.
Absolutely No Logic - Everyone knows that when watching Bollywood films, they should leave their brains at home. So don't waste logic on the Indian audience.
Guest Appearances to Taste - Depends on how much you can afford. See the way in Ra.One Piggy Chops, dressed very tastefully I may add, screamed in ecstasy "Oh Yeah", "Oooh you are the king", "Come on"(porno much!?!)...if you want something like that, you'll pretty much need to sell your house and throw in a kidney or two
Over-the-freaking-top-acting - Guaranteed Filmfare
Some Hollywood Technician - Seriously, this will work wonders. Get a tea boy from Hollywood and in an interview say, "Mr. Howard Poopie-pants, a revered technician from Hollywood is also part of our team. He has interacted with Hollywood stars like Johnny Depp on the sets of POC!". Add a few Wikipedia articles about Mr. Howard Poopie-pants and you're done!

And our main ingredient,
Marketing - Put up posters of your film everywhere. Don't even leave out the public urinals. Android phones era, right? Create an app for your film. Smell someone's underwear. Endorse for the nariyal paani wala near your house. Sell yourself on the eBay. Whatever it takes to get people into the theater.

Just throw the above into a blender and Voila! The blockbuster of the year is ready to bash in the audience's skulls and make them want to kill themselves!!

He Who Must Not Write A.K.A. Chetan Bhagat

2011-10-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

So, Revolution 2020 has come out. It's total bullshit. I haven't read it, of course. I have learnt my lesson after his other books. Take a look below.

So I know I should not waste 84 Rupees on Revolution 2020.

I thought that I had company when it came to hating India's most "loved" author. And I picked up that adjective from his website. So when I come across articles like these, it disturbs me. Let me clear the air shrouding the Chetan Bhagat success a little.

(The statements in bold are more or less borrowed from the article I have linked to)

His books sell lakhs of copies.

I remember crying myself to sleep after watching the movie Ready. Salman's histronics, Asin's blotchy face and the other motley characters dancing to the tunes of Salman made me suicidal. What's worse? Ready broke all box-office records. Which were in turn broken by Bodyguard. Which were in turn broken by Ra.One(I am not even going to link you to the Ra.One trailer. It has had enough promotion!). Do you see where I am going with this?

CB's books are the same.

His style of writing is indeed simple with minimum use of vocabulary.

Simple writing and minimum use of vocabulary, I can deal with. But when I read any sentence written by CB, I feel like taking a Basilisk Fang and shoving it into the book. He just uses a combination of IIT-IIM lin

go, "Indianisms", Hari/Arvind/Rahul(like Tom/Dick/Harry), verbs and connectors(like and,or,etc.). Anyone can write like him. Hari asked for a Paratha free of charge(Indianism) at dhaba(lingo) -> See?

People are able to relate to characters from his novels.

I have never been able to relate to any of the female characters in his books. Is it because they have no personality and they are poorly developed? And when I say poorly developed I mean character-wise, not looks-wise. Because his description pertaining to the physical aspects of the girl is a mind-blowing summary of what Indian men look for in women. So,

CB heroine = Fair skin + Long hair + ~~36-24-36~~ 42-24-36 + Conservative outside, progressive inside + H-U-G-E libido + half-cooked backstory + crazy as shit

And how about the male characters? We have of course:
1) The Over-achiever who makes Edward Cullen look like the dirt under his shoes.
2) The Village Idiot.
3) The hero who is slightly over-weight, has no balls at all and gets the girl(though why the girl goes for him when we have Edward Cullen in the equation is totally unknown to me)

Yet his books inspire, give us hope and teach us to take risks.

True. They inspire other Indian authors to write books that should be used to start bonfires. They give hope to anyone who can string a sentence with a few words to believe that they can be authors. And they have taught people like me to take risks and buy one more CB book. Atleast I can use them as paper weights.

Funny Story: The other day, my friend and I are walking down the street and she was telling me that she wanted to read Revolution 2020. Although I did want to terminate my friendship with her at that point, I smiled and pointed towards a man who was sitting near a bedsheet laden with Revolution 2020s and other books.

Me: Bhaiyya, kitna?
Bhaiyya: 120.
Me(to my friend): Hah. We can get it for 84 Rupees on Flipkart. Come.
The man starts shouting while we walk away.
Bhaiyya: Madam, 100 mein lelo.
No response.
Bhaiyya: Achcha, 80.
No response.
Bhaiyya: 50!
No response.
Bhaiyya: Achcha Madam, 20 Rupees mein tho lelo.
We burst out laughing!

A-B-C(Part 4)

2011-10-17T05:22:00.000-07:00

Here is the fourth and final part in my A-B-C series. Do read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 before you proceed. Hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing :)

SJB: SJB or Silver Jubilee Hall(I know I know...the acronym doesn't make sense if it's Hall but that's how we roll)...many evenings were spent in this place. Almost all clubs would hold meetings here. Hardly any work would be done though! You could always hear giggles from Tamizh Mandram, scary techie terms from RMI, some lecture from E-cell, and a whole lot of sarcasm from the Writers' Circle. This boring concrete structure would transform into a lively venue by evening, giving the Barn competition at times.

P.S.: The abundance of bushes and insufficient lighting in front made it a popular lovers' spot.

Trichy: This series would be incomplete if I didn't mention the city that welcomed young, pure, pampered souls like us and spat out slightly older, "experienced" survivors. We didn't just have tests on technical subjects. The city, Trichy herself was an endurance test for us.

Can you survive a 9 to 5 power cut on a Sunday when the temperature is lingering in the 40 degree range?
Will you take the risk of eating in Maghai(the best place for jalebis and other north-Indian delicacies) when you know very well that you will end up with food poisoning?
Can you survive the Elephant's Kiss(the craziest cocktail served by Wild West, a cowboy theme bar in, that's right, Trichy!)?
Will you travel all the way to Meridien just for a measly cheese omelette or Sangam for the much-celebrated Sangam breakfast(the round trip is about 5-6 hours+Trichy heat will kill you)?
Are you ready to travel to the Rockfort temple and climb the never-ending stairs just to get a glimpse of the idol for a split second? (You promised you'd go if you passed in the lab exam.)

By the end of the first year, the answer to all these questions will be an arrogant "Yes"!

Uprisings: We had a million of them. Against the mess food, against the admin, against particular members of particular gangs, against professors, against wardens, against boys. Before the uprising begins, you have the best feeling in the world. It's anger mixed with the desire to do something. You convince other people to join. You rebel. And of course, you lose. There is the occasional win, here and there though.

Vasantham: Who wouldn't miss this temple of good food? It cropped up in our third year, in a brilliant location. By then, everyone was bored of finding insects in their food(Buhari canteen), costly crap(Snacky) and insubstantial food(Icy/Juicy). And of course, messes. So people fell back on Vasantham. Cheap and good food served by akkas who flirted with the boys and scowled at the girls - that's the dream, isn't it? :P

P.S.: All is well with Vasantham. The only problem is its proximity to my department. So while I scoffed down vadas and bitched about how the microprocessor hated me and it was plotting my downfall, the lab attendant would be 2 metres away. Ah luck.

Walking/Winter: The evenings in Trichy were heavenly to say the least. Our campus was so huge. There was quite a bit of greenery so our campus stayed relatively cool compared to the rest of the city. And the climate would be perfect to take a long walk with just an iPod for company!
I also had to mention the winter season in Trichy. It's brilliant and if that was the weather allround the year I would never want to go back home.

Clearly, I didn't think this series through before I started. I had to think for quite a long time before I came up with:
Xerox shop: This is where the action is before CTs and exams. The class topper's notes would be stuck here for an entire week. Entire semester's portions would be inked over and over again. Chants of "Anna, exam tomorrow, please anna, fast anna" and "Anna, roll call anna, please copy now anna" would be screamt over rows of students. This was probably the most profitable shop in the campus.

Yearly fests: Like all colleges, we had cultural and technical fests. Festember was our cultural fest and I never worked for it because I decided that a fest like this deserved to be enjoyed. So instead of working for it, I spent my time walking around with my friends, attending all the events and tasting food at all the food stalls. It was awesome :)
Pragyan, our techfest was the total opposite. I thought to myself "Anyway I am not intelligent enough to actually participate or enjoy any event as such. Might as well help organize it!". My association was quite eventful. That's all I'll say!
And of course, my favourite Nittfest. It was the inter-departmental fest. Somehow, how much ever you bitch about your dept when Nittfest time comes, all is forgotten and everyone will defend the honour of their dept. Our dept enjoyed working and though we were competitive, we never let it come in the way of us having fun. In fact, the farther we were from the trophy the more fun we had.

Zoo: Our campus has two zoos - one in the Lecture Hall Complex or CLC and one outside it. The one in CLC was full of artificial animals scattered in the lawn. It was pretty funny, the variety of animals we had. Deer, Peacocks, Monkeys and even a few Penguins. Penguins in South India! After a few unfortunate graffiti exhibits on these animals, students were fined for even looking at them. I know.
The one outside was more realistic, keeping in sync with the climate and all. We had cows all over the place. In the Shopping Centre, in the hostels, in the basketball ground...hell, this one time a guy found a cow sitting in his room! We also had dogs, cats, rats(the one in Opal was called Ernie), frogs and other insects. So if you are ever in your room alone, you can be sure that there will be a few insects to give you company!

P.S.: We constantly complained about the cows in the SC. Finally some action was taken and they decided to build metal dividers so that the cows cannot enter. The best part? They actually did put up those metal dividers. The worst part? The distance between any two metal dividers is the width of one cow. I know. Genius.

NITT - for all the good and bad times, you shall be missed!

Beauty

2011-10-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

P.S.: No funnies here. This is a serious one. Hope you like it!

It was late in the morning. She stood in front of the mirror. The car was downstairs, waiting for her. She didn't care.

She was too busy admiring herself. Her jet-black hair, almond-shaped eyes, luscious lips and fantastic body had made her the envy of every woman and the desire of every man in town. And she knew it.

She picked up her toothbrush and began her routine, oblivious to the incessant honks.

It was a star-studded affair. She arrived fashionably late. Every head in the room turned, almost as if synchronized, when she entered the room. In her arm, she had another man. She never went out in the same dress or with the same man more than once.

She walked around the ballroom, moving effortlessly from one group to the other, talking about everything from politics to sport. That's the thing about her - she wasn't just a pretty face. She was a force to be reckoned with, on and off the catwalk.

Waiters swarmed around the room in careful, choreographed paths offering hors d'oeuvres to the guests. She picked up a few and began eating. People around her asked her how she could afford to eat when she was a top model. She gave a silvery laugh and continued to eat.

It was late in the night. She stood in front of the mirror. Her date was on the bed, waiting for her. She didn't care.

She took a deep breath and noticed that her stomach was slightly convex. No problem, that could be taken care of.

She picked up her toothbrush and stuck in down her throat.

Friday

2011-10-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

Sing to the tune of Rebecca Black's Friday :P

[Morning Verse]

(Aiyoo, Yaaaaaaawnnn)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah *knock*
Yeah, yeah *knock*
Yeah-ah-ah *knock*
Yeah-ah-ah *knock knock*
Yeah-ah-ah *knock knock*
Yeah-ah-ah *knock knock knock*
Yeah, yeah, yeah I am AWAKE

7am, waking up in the morning
Opening the door for the maid,
Sleeping a little more till the alarm goes crazy,
Gonna get late again, Gonna get stuck in traffic,
Gotta take a bath in the freezing cold water,
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see the conductor (The conductor)

Flatulent lady in the front seat
Lecherous man in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta go Chennai on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ outta office early on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin’ (No)
Sleepin', sleepin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Evening Verse]

3:45, packing up my bag
Cruisin’ so fast, my colleagues don't see me
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
Making hurried plans,
My friend is by my right
We are running around,
Thinking where to go

280 rupees for Chocolate Daiquri
330 rupees for Apple Daiquiri
Gotta make my mind up
Which one can I take?

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get sloshed on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ totally out on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

P.S.: I was really bored.

Ero*ica

2011-10-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

She stands last in the line,
Unassuming, looking so damn fine,
No one else gives her a look-see,
And so by default, she belonged to me.

I walked up to her, feeling quite unsure,
What if she turned out to be a big bore?
I picked her up and we went to a quiet place,
I could not stop staring at her face.

She looked pristine, brittle and mellow,
Dressed in white and a subtle yellow,
With specks of black here and there,
I had to handle her with tender care.

I dared to slowly caress her,
She liked it, she did not deter,
Her soft exterior blew my mind,
Her body took shapes, undefined.

And as I bent down to take a taste,
My inane thoughts were replaced,
And I knew there was only one thing to do,
Scream out in ecstasy, "Pongal, I love you"!

P.S.: Pongal is an extremely delicious rice preparation. No one really likes it because it is over-shadowed by popular dishes such as dosa or vada. Although after reading something so weird, I don't think anyone would ever want to eat pongal again...ever :P
Btw my love affair with pongal began in college. And I still love it.

The Housewife

2011-10-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

Quiz: Are you a housewife?

You are taking a casual stroll in the local supermarket and you see that potatoes are 30 Rupees/kilo. You:
1. Push away at least 3 aunties, grab the plastic bag and start selecting spuds in a manner similar to the guy at the beginning of the 300 spoof selecting babies.
2. Meh. You can get them later. You don't want to stand behind that weird female who ran towards them like the wind anyways.
Your friends make a plan to watch Mere Brother Ki Dulhan and then go out for a pizza. When they invite you, you:
1. Ditch them. You don't want to watch Imran Khan on screen and drool because it makes you feel like a pedophile. And pizza has become boring. Besides, you're in the mood for Upma and 90210.
2. Wish that the movie was in 3D. You also skimp on the popcorn so that you can properly hog the pizza.
You pick up a plate from the shelf and you see that the servant has missed a spot. How do you react?
1. Wash last night's curry off the plate using half a Vim bar, obsess over it for hours and think of having a talk with the servant(and then chuck it. What if the servant gets angry and leaves the job? Where are you going to find another servant? The horror!).
2. What spot?
You enter the mall and you head off to:
1. More/Nilgiris/Any departmental store of course! They have a big sale and you had brought along your Sodexos!! Best day ever!!! Too many exclamation marks!!!!
2. CCD.
There are some old newspapers lying around the house. You:
1. Paper your shelves with them and keep the rest for spreading on the table while eating. That way you won't have debris lying on the table. Pretty smart, huh?
2. Throw them. Or let them be. It's not like they're bothering you. Whatevs.

Are you actually taking this quiz?
1. Yes.
2. No.

If you selected:
Mostly 1s: You are a true blue housewife. Go now...your sambar is bubbling on the stove.
Mostly 2s: Congrats! You still have a life! Unlike the author of this piece, who incidentally chose only 1s.

Life Relearned in Bangalore

2011-10-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

You might have guessed by now that I am a software engineer. Which means I stay in Bangalore. It has been 3 months since I landed here and I have learned a few things, mostly useless ones, about this place.

You know how a footpath says to you, "Come hither, pedestrian! Thou shall be safe with me."? Well, in Bangalore it says "GET OFF!!! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!!" because motor cycles, bikes and pretty much anything with two wheels+enough horsepower to kill you will share the footpath with you. So you're safer walking on the road. The traffic never moves here anyways.
Auto drivers are extremely talkative here. This one driver looked at the poster of the movie Force and asked me if John Abraham goes to the gym regularly. Another one asked me if I was on Facebook, where I was from, which area in Chennai, my flat number, and which flat from the adjacent building provided a clear view of me sleeping. Well not the last one, but you get the idea.
The South Indian fare here is extremely different from Tamilian food. For one thing, their sambar can easily be confused with a sweet dish. The different kinds of chutneys available here are white, white, and white. Did I mention white? And their dosas are minuscule. I could pack two of those in a single Ghee Roast from Saravana Bhavan.
P.S.: Did you know that dosas were invented in Karnataka? Well if they invented it, Tamil Nadu made it better.
My call register has only one number: Amma. My greetings have changed from "Hi" to:
- How do you make sambar rice?
- Are you sure I cannot put potato in this also?
- It tastes horrible, Amma!
Wherever I go, I increase the AQ(Aunty Quotient) of that place. Because the girls here are extremely hot. I myself cannot stop staring so I cannot blame the male population of Bangalore for being open-mouthed most of the time.
P.S.: Recently when I was on the train, there was one kid in my compartment. His finger was permanently stuck in his nose. And then he comes up to me, keeps his hand on my dress and calls me Aunty. I stopped myself from throwing him off the train.
Although I love stepping into puddles, I have stopped doing that with the puddle right in front of my building. The owner downstairs has a dog. And that puddle, I realized, might not be water.

School

2011-09-27T03:54:00.000-07:00

My sound sleep was interrupted by my father's incessant attempts to wake me. Mother was in the kitchen making breakfast.

I heard mother screaming. It was time to wake up. I was getting late to go to the school. Father would be angry if I was late once more.

Mother kept pushing food down my throat. I threw a huge tantrum when I saw the amount of milk she had kept. My little brother and I fought over who got the smaller glass.

I watched mother divide the bread into unequal pieces. I wound up getting the smallest one. I ate it hungrily.

While I was taking a shower in the bathroom, mother was screaming because the bus was due to arrive any minute. I hastily stepped out and wore my ironed uniform.

I tried wiping the chutney stain off my dress. The water flow had reduced to just a trickle today. I hastily washed my face and hands, scared that the tap would shut off altogether.

Father stood with me at the bus stop and advised me about picking up my grades. I nodded and waited impatiently for the bus to come.

I heard father wake up from his drunken stupor. I grabbed my bag and ran out before he could see me. The last time I was late, I had my leg broken.

I got the window seat today, luckily. I sat beside my friend and we chatted nonstop about the copious amount of homework being doled out by the new teacher.

It was a long walk to school. I trudged along. My bag was unusually heavy today and the straps were cutting into my shoulders. Mother must have packed some more food today.

I waited impatiently for recess. There is only so much scribbling and passing chits one can do before mindless hunger takes over. I wanted to go to the stall outside and eat that divine green chutney sandwich. Mother had even given extra money today.

I reached the school just before lunch time. I set up the stall and waited for the bell to ring.

The Big Five Oh!

2011-09-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

This is my 50th post at The Pursuit Of Normalcy.

OMFG! I AM SUCH A BIG FAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Could I please get an interview and a bite mark on my neck?
Interview? Ok. But bite mark...dude! Seriously?

ZOMG! This is the biggest day of my life! Tell me all about your blogging history, oh mighty one!
Shush mortal, shush! I have been blogging for about 4 years, although I seriously started blogging only since last year...I think the numbers prove that! It started of as something I wanted to do because everyone was doing it. But now it has become something much more. It has become an excuse to not work.

So what do you blog about, lovely lovey dove?
So many many things.

I review useless movies such as Singham. Also, books that I cannot stand like the Twilight Saga. In fact, I started this blog with a review.
I also write about my family. They're totally lovable. And crazy. Thank god they're crazy. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to write about life lessons such as Get Pregnant Before 25 Or DIE!, Movies Guaranteed To Make Your Parents Paranoid(more than they already are), and Wedding Drama.
I write about my college life, crazy friends and of course a beautiful thing called love.

A to the MAZING! So your most popular posts are?
I have noticed people seem to like it when I am frustrated. No wonder posts like this and this became big hits.

Where else do you grace your amazing presence?
Everyone has their hobbies. And my latest one is photography. Check out the pictures here. They were all taken by me *collar-liftings* :)

Although I totally know the answer(and it is "Because I am awesome!!!" which you totally are), why should people continue reading your blog?
Well, I think I am somewhat funny. And other people seem to agree. This blog's readers have grown from 2 to a whooping 22. So thank you, readers. Thank you for reading the random scribblings of a maniac. Big louwes for you.

Is this interview over? Because I'd like the 100 bucks you promised me right about now.
Ahem.

Dear US Return,

2011-09-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

Note: I am not generalizing people who return from the US. Just jotting down a few things because of some irritating people I have come across..

-> After staying in some kurukku sandhu(or gully) in India for over 20 years, it is just impossible that you speak with an accent. Because as far as I know, you couldn't speak English properly when you were here. So, who are you trying to fool? Oh and one more thing...the accent totally slips when you say "Anna, oru straaaang filter kaapi, chakra jaasthi".

-> Yes, India is crowded. That is how it was, is and will be(because India is where it's all happening). So stop asking us why. And stop complaining to us. We don't care. We have more important things to do rather than listen to an adult throwing tantrums.

-> You're not the only one who watches English movies/series. We do too. And yes, we understand the dialogues. And there's no need to be surprised. In fact, we're surprised that your favourite on-screen character has changed to Rachel of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fame from Abhi of Kolangal "fame".

-> Stop walking around with Bisleri in your hands. And stop asking us if the water that we serve at our homes is mineral or not. We don't take water from the nearby gutter and keep it at our homes! Although if we knew you were visiting, we would've done exactly that.

-> If you don't want to eat food that street vendors sell, don't. We don't want to hear "Oh my gawd, is this place, like, hygienic?". We have insides made of iron. We can stomach anything. And maybe you don't remember, but we remember you eating like a pig at this very place(before you left for US) and lecherously staring at girls, saying "Machaan, antha sooper figura paaru da!".

-> Indian food is spicy, flavourful and divine. Whether it's the dosa, the pav bhaji, the dhokla, the aloo paratha, the samosa, the khara bath...I could go on forever. So stop ranting about how the food is too spicy. If that's the case, we will not take you to Grand Sweets for your customary have-to-buy-all-edible-things-there-before-I-go-to-US shopping spree.

-> Cows roam the street. They stand in the middle of the road and vehicles drive around them. Naturally, there will be few patches of cow dung here and there. So when you look at it, stop saying "Ewwww gross!". Walk around it. And yes, there are a few cockroaches too. Stop complaining about them. At least we don't have a cockroach named after our country, like the American Cockroach. And dogs will do it in the street. Don't ask us why. I know it's surprising, but we don't keep track of their mating seasons.

Yours Truly,
"We are like this only"

Squeals On Wheels

2011-09-15T06:08:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, you will have to survive through a long winding conversation(I have thrown in a few jokes to make it interesting!) to get to the actual post. So bear with me.

HDFC lady(HL): I need address proof, Madam.
Me: Is the Bangalore house agreement fine?
HL: No. Permanent address proof, Madam.
Me: What about an Airtel bill?
HL: As long as it is a current bill, fine Madam.
Me: No, it's a telephone bill*Chuckle*!
HL: What Madam?
Me: I said it's a telepho...never mind. I have the bill for July.
HL: July, no. August only Madam.
Me: Okay. Can I scan and send it?
HL: No. Hard copy Madam. You need to sign on it. That's why.
Me: What if I sign on it and scan it to you and you take a colour printout? Huh? Huh? Won't that work?
HL: Actually it migh...no no. Hard copy only. Is it in your name?
Me: No. It's in my father's name.
HL: Sorry Madam. That won't work!
Me: But that is where I live too!
HL: What about driving license, Madam?

And my answer to her question was, is and always will be a vehement no. I shouldn't be allowed to touch a cycle, let alone a scooter or a car. My tragic affair with vehicles begins at:

Age 8 - Cycle

Guess who just had to take a spin around the park before going off to explore pavilions at Dubai Shopping Festival(Actually, with my dad the case is that we take a peek at the exterior of every other country's pavilion but venture in and explore only the Indian Pavilion. Rational arguments like "But Appa, we go to India every year! What's the point of going to the Indian pavilion?" would be dismissed)?

My father grudgingly accompanied me to the park. I was still getting used to the absence of training wheels. So while I pedalled furiously, my father would hold the cycle and run. At one point, he left it and stood to watch.

He watched proudly as his daughter rode the cycle. He watched her turn her head and shout "Appaaaa!" for 10 seconds. And then he watched her hit the pavement, fly off the cycle and clash with a tree. Not just any tree, though. A palm tree, which quite frankly is the only kind of tree you'll get to see in the Gulf. Please make a note of the monster spikes that adorn the bark of the tree.

I did get hurt quite a bit. On the plus side though, I got a black eye. Super cool! For a month, I enjoyed the terror I caused amongst the kids in the neighbourhood.

Age 10 - Roller Skates

After some tantrum throwing(I am a quite spoiled), I got roller skates and we all went to the park to check it out. As I took baby steps in my skates, my brother(who was about 3) did the same next to me. So I caught his hand to help him walk. And all of the sudden, the stupid thing started running. And I fall and get a major sprain. No amount of begging would convince my dad that I actually got hurt. He made me walk to see if I was okay. I wasn't. In fact, it escalated to a dislocation.

On the plus side, I got to choose the colour of my cast(I chose red :P)!

Age 17-20 - Cycle

And life comes to a full circle again. If there was some sort of "NIT Book of Tiruchchirappalli Records", my name would be right against Largest Number of Accidents on a Cycle.

-> The first time I climbed onto a cycle in college, I couldn't get off it because I was scared to fall. So I had to throw the cycle down and step over it. What an elegant solution, I thought to myself. Little did I know, that there were spectators there.

-> I finally managed to relearn cycle riding. And then I decided "Hey why not put another innocent soul's life in jeopardy?". So I took one of my most lightweight friends "doubles" because we were late to class. We fell. She never asked me for doubles again.

-> As I was riding my cycle slowly and somewhat steadily, two guys sped past me. Suddenly, feminism took over(I'm crazy like that) and I entered into a race with two unknowing participants. Once I took over them, I turned my head around to give them this "Losers! Suckers!" look, I collided with another guy riding a cycle. I fell off, somersaulted on the road and just sat there and laughed because it was just so funny! Of course, it wasn't funny anymore when I had to pay for that guy's cycle's damages.

-> I was washing my cycle and I broke a nail. What!!! That counts as an accident too!

A-B-C(Part 3)

2011-09-13T04:15:00.001-07:00

Ola! Do read Part 1 and Part 2 before you read any further!

Mess: I know...you must think I am mental. I miss the mess more than anything else. Everything other than eating used to take place...

-> Fighting with the akkas for more food
P.S.: The akkas were extremely smart. While serving chutney, they'd take a ladle-full, pour half back into the container and spread the remaining chutney on your plate so that it looks like a lot.
P.P.S.: I had this friend A who was amazing at fighting with the akkas. Once when the akka put 2 "barely there" cutlets on her plate, A slyly said "Akka, the cutlets are still visible...make sure you make them smaller next time". We all died laughing in the mess!

-> Talking
Everyone will be talking about everything under the sun. The best part? You can tune into as many conversations as you want and ultimately the entire table will end up discussing about something as trivial as the lack of gentlemen and the abundance of cow dung in the college.

-> "Under the table" deals
Sounds weird? It's simple. A likes Gobi and hates Paneer. B likes Paneer and hates Gobi. Exchange and voila! A has 2 Gobi. B has 2 Paneer. Sigh, Math should have been taught like that.

Night outs: Such an integral part of an engineer's life...this. Basically, you stay awake all night. My parents always asked me why I did night outs when there were 24 hrs in a day! The question is best answered by the following pie chart(Click on it to view the font!).

Outings: Trichy's close proximity to Kodai, Pondi, Coorg resulted in a lot of trips to these places. I still remember the time R and I went to Kodai on an impromptu trip. We were bored in hostel and we decided to just get up and go to Kodai. I still remember that weekend as one consisting of excessive good food, lots of chocolate, bike rides around the lake and fun!
And with R and S I went to Pondi. We sat on the beach for hours and watched the sunrise while hot chocolate provided warmth to our hands, providing amazing business to Choco La and talking nineteen to dozen!
Another noteworthy trip was with R and R to Coorg. Fighting with the waiters at Sangeethas, fighting with the guys in the train, laughing till our stomachs hurt...

Parties: I miss the late-night "parties" we had in hostel. Hurried transportation of breakable items, looking out for the warden, adjustment of light fixtures, setting up the music for the mood, lots of dancing and ultimately chugging, screaming, confessing, laughing, crying. Ah memories :P

Quadrangle: This strip of land was the one thing that was used by Opalites for all kinds of phony purposes. This is where girls would walk around and talk to their boyfriends/"just friend" all night. This is where we would give our friends The Placement Treatment. This is where we would regress and run around, chasing a friend. This is where we, as a batch, would assert our dominance during Opal week. This is where we'd fight with the warden to shift roll call. This is where it all happened :)

Ragging: I know people make a big deal of this, but my first year was so much fun because of ragging! Wacky seniors who gave us even wackier things to do made it an exciting experience. Showing emotion in a sine wave manner(you cry first and then gradually build up to a guffaw and then go back to crying...innovative huh?), proposing to random guys, sneaking(behind their backs) to go to the forbidden places, writing assignments for them, guessing names based on their faces...all part of the fun! Although I will add, I did not rag any juniors...at least not badly(I think the worst thing I have done is make a junior sing "Kabhi Kabhi Aditi" in English while dancing around like a snake). And even if I did, I always apologized profusely later :P

They grow up fast!

2011-09-08T04:53:00.000-07:00

I have a brother who is 7 years younger than me. However, according to my mom our mental age is pretty much the same. In fact, I might be a little more immature than him, you know. For example, whenever his friends call, I make it a point to scream "Ooooh is that your girlfriend?" or "{Insert bro's name - I cannot defame him in public, you see}, that girl you met yesterday is calling for you on the other line"! Or when he orders a dish in the hotel, I always keep "tasting" food from his plate. Or when he is watching TV/playing on his PSP/PS2(Spoiled much?), I just have to dance in front of the TV or close his eyes so as to block his view. Or when he is completing his record book, I ramble on and on about I am jobless and I am free to do whatever I want. I know, I am such an asshole :P

But one day, you realize that your baby brother isn't really a baby anymore. And it's kind of unsettling...this feeling. You know your younger brother is growing up when:

He has a mobile phone
Can you see the dabba phone above? That is my phone. It has a zillion scratches on it. It hangs more than a cool guy from the hood does with his homies. And its display is screwed up. My brother on the other hand has the phone pictured below. It's not just a phone, it's a smart phone. Pfft.
He is part of the community "OMFG Megan Fox is so hot she must have been a part of the sun!!!!!" on Facebook
I know, right? First of all, how did he even find this community? If he found it by searching for it, were the keywords a combination of the words Megan, Fox and Hot? Scary :|
He runs to another room when he gets a message or callYep. Every. Single. Time. And he lowers his voice like he is a top secret government agent! But the best Facepalm I have ever witnessed happened to him the other day. My parents, my brother and me are waiting for the lift. And suddenly, he gets a call. As usual, he runs away saying(with fake irritation and actual expectation in his voice) "Oh my god...who is calling me now!?!". But by the time he could answer the phone, the caller cut the phone. And when he checks the missed calls list, it turns out my dad was calling him. Haha my dad's sense of humour rocks!
You need him to retrieve things from the top shelf and not vice-versa
He is so very tall! I think the last time I looked down at him was when he was in 7th grade! If human dominance could be asserted only on the basis of height, I'd be gone!
He takes more time than you to get dressed
I have written a small algorithm for your benefit.
1. Start
2. Comb hair till you are satisfied
3. If outfit already chosen go to step 9. Else step 4.
4. Choose an outfit
5. Try on the outfit and stare at yourself in the mirror for 10 minutes
6. Outfit sucks? Go back to step 3. Else go to step 7
7. Happy? Awesome! Aww shucks now the hair's all messed up
8. Go back to step 2
9. Finish an entire bottle of Axe deodourant
10. End

A-B-C(Part 2)

2011-08-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

If haven't read Part 1 already, you can find it here.

Gossip: "Guess what X and Y are going out!", "What!?! They were canoodling outside the library?", "And then she puked all over your room? Gross!"...and many more! Who doesn't love mindless ramblings of no importance at all? They were exchanged in hushed whispers in the class and they always began with "Oh my god...I have to tell you something. But swear that you won't tell ANYONE!". After 2-3 days, you were sure to hear the same item from another friend!

P.S.: It's a misconception that only girls gossip. Guys do it too.

Hostel Life: Hostel was what made college infinitely better. Every room, corridor, terrace had a story to tell.
-> Late night chats on the stairs
-> Walking in the corridor and talking to every single person on the way till you remember that the tingling feeling is actually an indicator that you wanted to go to the bathroom an hour back
-> Telling ghost stories during power cuts and stifling a scream at the sight of a basketball on top of the cupboard(it looked like a cut-off head, okay!)
-> A cappella performances in the bathroom at 8:15 A.M. even though class begins at 8:30 A.M.
-> Locking yourself in while having Maggi so that no one smells the aroma
-> Reserving bathrooms by leaving a minuscule soap
And, last but not the least, stupid politics. Ah it was fun while it lasted and I still miss it :)

Icy(Ice-cream parlour): Kadalai and Gujaals place! Basically, major flirting used to take place there. There have been many incidents where I'd forget all about the chocolate ice-cream slowly inching its way down the cone just to fall on my sparkly white dress. Why? Because, I'd be staring(shamelessly, I admit) at the couple on the corner sharing one ice-cream. And they won't have spoons. Can it get more interesting than that?

P.S.: Yes, I am cheap.

P.P.S.: I came to know in my pre-final year that our Icy was actually called Mt. Zion!

Juicy: Yes I miss Juicy. I had my first taste of ragging there. I skipped meals to have juice there. We knew the prices by heart and the lady at the place(fondly christened "Juicy akka") knew our orders by heart! Easy on the pocket and the exact opposite on the stomach, this was the hangout for people frustrated from classes. We learnt a lot from this place. For example, tyres apart from being used in vehicles, can also be used to carry ice. And, never stand under the tube light, unless you want little black insects to have a swimming race in your juice. And, never listen to the little boy at the Juicy. He is one sly guy and he will do anything to sell you a juice.

Kaycees: Sometime during our third year, we came to know about Kaycees. It was 30 minutes away from our college. They had decent food. They had amazing juices. I know it doesn't sound very awesome. But here comes their selling point. They had beanbags! Beanbags, you guys! Do you know how rare those are in Trichy? What about Beanbags in an Air-Conditioned room? Kaycees FTW! Although I never got to sit in them because another NIT group would always be there. Always.

P.S.: Their french fries are the best in the world(even better than McDonalds'). Just ignore the flies fried with the fries(Hey, tongue twister!).

Library: Our uses for the library deteriorated and degraded with each passing year. In my first year(first semester rather), I used to go there to study. But I'd sleep off. So I took S along once. That was a disaster. We spotted this guy staring at us, so we gave him a horrendous time by staring back, pointing and laughing, making fun of his electric blue pants, etc. Good news: we stayed awake the whole time. Bad news: Turned out EBP(or Electric Blue Pants) was the lab guide for us that entire semester.
After that disaster we never went to the library. Slowly, the library became lonely but it was frequented by the not-so-lonely. Now, that library has morphed into IIM Trichy. A new library that looks like a cross between a temple and a castle came up right across the old one. But it just doesn't have the charm(read dimly lit areas) to pull in a crowd.

Part 3 is here!

A-B-C(Part 1)

2011-08-18T03:24:00.000-07:00

I am a sentimental person. I get attached to things/people/places. So it surprised me that when we were leaving college, I cried for a grand total of 10 minutes. That is it. A guy later on told me that his friends and he had cried for 2 hours! And I thought to myself: Am I not sentimental about college? About my friends? About my experiences...that I could not cry for more than 10 minutes about them? Let me add here that I know crying isn't the definitive sign of sadness/sentimentality. But the thing is apart from those 10 minutes, I did not for a minute think about/reflect back upon my life in college. Till now that is. So I have decided to compile from A-Z the things I miss about not only NIT, but also the beautiful(I realize it now) city it was located in, Trichy.

Anna/Akka: Those were the magic words. You prefix or suffix them to any sentence and lo behold! Your word will be their command! So accustomed we all were to this word that when I went to Bombay once and I called an auto rickshaw driver Anna he responded with a spiteful "Anna hoga tera baap!"(Your father must be the big brother)...sorry, the meaning is really lost in translation!

Birthdays: Birthdays were celebrated in Opal(the girls' hostel) in a grand fashion. The friends of the birthday girl would go around the hostel inviting everyone to the terrace/stage. Cake would be stored in a room where the birthday girl would never venture. Once the clock strikes 12, cake would be transported hurriedly, matches would be begged for to light the candles, and the birthday girl would be lured to the venue using a phony excuse(In most cases, she WILL know about the party). The strength of the crowd at the celebration depends on the cake. Chocolate Truffle attracts everyone! And of course, once the cake cutting is done, if any cake is left, face-beautifying and hair-nourishing happens. Let's not forget the bumps as well. Close to 12 :30, one can see the birthday girl rushing to take a bath complaining about how she had washed her hair just that morning. With a smile on her face of course!

Class: I miss class. A lot. I miss walking in late to class. I miss sitting in class and passing chits. I miss pretending to take notes in class when the professor looks in my direction. I miss talking away to glory. I miss getting caught by the professor and back answering thus forcing said person to unceremoniously kick me out of class. I miss walking out of class, almost with a slight arrogance, after being kicked out. I miss slipping out of class(conspicuously I may add) when the professor enters. I miss concentrating and actually taking notes(spectacular ones I may add :P) in the very few classes where I actually respect and enjoy the professor's teachings.

Dhaba: The saviour! Bamboos was our(R's and my) favourite. We never experimented. Our order was always the same: 1 Gobi 65(copious amounts of Gobi fried to a crisp), Malai Kofta(spicy with real vegetables...not just stalks and stems and leaves like in the mess) and 8 parottas. With another clique, I used to go to D3. That was where I discovered the joy of kalakki(a messy egg preparation), aloo fry(the desi french fries!) and 90(a delightful concoction of Miranda, Pepsi and Mountain Dew along with some lime juice served in dirty glasses). And of course, the one and only time I went to Sam Fox and had two delightful dosas(the specialty) and chutney laced with insects thanks to the tube light right above our heads. Ah fun times!

Exams: I know it's a weird thing to miss but I miss it nonetheless! I never really prepared for them well unless I liked the subject/professor. I would fool around the entire day spending time making timetables to study. They would change every hour owing to me watching episode after episode of some sitcom. Let's put it this way - people came to me to feel better about how much they had studied. I will always be the last person to come in and the first person to go out of the exam hall. And my scale for grading my performance was "Two digit, good. One digit, bad."! I somehow got out of that with a degree...so yay me!

Friends: An indispensable addition to the list. I made so many friends. I can say proudly that I belonged to many cliques. There was of course R-my closest friend ever, a work of art like me. Another R who I loved and enjoyed with. And there was R, who is the complete opposite of me. I am surprised and I feel blessed to be her close friend! There was S and R who I became friends with later on. I became extremely close to S, who surprisingly was like a twin. And there was A, A, A, K and S. And there was crazy S and M(Haha sounds bad I know :D). Amazing friends and amazing moments with all of them...deep conversations about life, confessions after "parties", laughing for no reason at all, dissection of characters, friendly banter, heated arguments, silent treatments, reconciliations, movie nights, food weekends...the list goes on!

Since this post is going to be a long long one, I will come up with a Part 2 and Part 3 soon :)

Note: Part 2 and Part 3 is here!

Why I Love My Bag

2011-08-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

Most of you already know how I have the worst experiences when it comes to travel. I have come across some messed up shit. Like this one time, I was trying to complete an assignment in the train. And this guy sleeping on the upper berth(I was on the lower berth) climbed down and sat on my berth. He started an intensive Q & A regarding Computer Science and all its wondrous sub-areas. He also threw in bonus information regarding his God-levelness in Networking and how even though I was an NITT-ian, I would never...(pause for effect)...ever be as good as him. After an hour he asked me if I would get up early to wake him up. I snorted. He got the point. He left. And he woke me up to say bye. Puke!

I have many more murky travel-related stories. And in all of them, all I do is stare really intensely at the person irritating me hoping against hope that the person gets the point. They usually do leave me alone once my one-word responses regress to curt nods. I recently came across an exception. Last weekend, I flew to Bombay. And I had an experience I can never forget.

I opted for an aisle seat as always. And sitting next to me was an extremely dirty "gawaar" guy. He looked like an Orkutiya...need I say more? And here's the kicker...his elbow was permanently in contact with my hand. Being a gawaar, he just could not grasp the fact that I wanted him to move his hand even though I kept adjusting my bag, and in the process, pushing away his hand. After about 20 minutes of relentless adjusting, I decided to just tell him to move. And for a minute there, he did.

I was so proud of myself. I was a daring female of the 21st century. I spoke my mind. Bollywood will make movies on me. I was...oh wait...his elbow was kneading my hand again. I had two options:

A. I could tell him to move his hand again.
B. I could just bear with it for another hour or so.

Being the fearless female that I am, I decided to go with option A. Sadly, option A was always followed by a minute of respite and then aforementioned hand kneading activity. This continued for a while and then finally the pilot (bless him) announced that the plane was going to land. However, my happiness was short lived as epic What-the-fuck-ness was about to ensue. The gawaar taps me on the hand and asks me if he can lean on my shoulder and sleep. I mustered the most disgusted expression I could, channeling the smell of good-curd-gone-bad, and said "Obviously Not!".

And then he actually leaned on my shoulder disregarding my response(and in addition grabbed my knee while landing). What happened next isn't an exaggeration or an imaginary event. In a split second, I grabbed my bag and beat the man. Not once, not twice, but eight times.

As soon as the plane landed I got up and ran to the flight attendant(who was quite cute by the way :P) who stood with me till the gawaar deplaned. And after my conversation with the flight attendant, I realized that I should have actually picked secret option C - Stop being a fearless female and just complain to the flight attendant. Bah.

Get Married, Get Pregnant, Get a life!

2011-07-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

As Sarika was smoothing her hair furiously with both hands at 6 in the morning, her mother started screaming from the other room asking her to hurry up. And what was she doing at 6 in the morning? Going for a family function. Why are these functions always at ungodly hours! And let's not forget that Tamil Brahmins have as many functions as Paris Hilton's boyfriend count.

At the function

All Female Family Members(AFFM): "Aiyyo, look at you...you look SO plain! Why are you wearing such a plain shalwar? Moonji la powder kudi illa(you haven't slathered your face with powder in an attempt to look fair so that guys will notice you)."

S: "Oh thank you...nice to see you too."

AFFM: "Your neck and your hands? Cha cha onnumme illai(it's as bare as Winnie the Pooh). Where is the gold chain that your father bought for you?"

S: "I have no idea. Besides it is not my marriage. And I hate gold."

AFFM: *GASP*"How can you hate gold being a Tamilian ponnu? And you have to get married in one year...you should start collecting gold now!"

S: "Collect gold for what? Will the guy I marry be collecting gold for me?"

AFFM: "Ollaradhe(stop talking like the actor Vijay/Salman). You are the girl, you have to collect gold. And one year isn't enough time."

S: "I am NOT getting married in one year. I have just started working. I need to work atleast for 3 years. There's so much I have to do."

AFFM: *cue gasp again*"Wha...? That means you will be 25. THEN only you'll marry? Enna nee paati aayitu thaan kalyanum pannipaiya(you be too old, bitch)? All Tamil Brahmin, IIT-IIM, USA-green-card-holding, non-drinking, non-smoking boys will be taken."

S: "So?"

AFFM: "Enna so? 25 marriage means by the time you have a child you will be 26. Chi chi romba late(do it do it do it now)."

S: *silent but thinking. I will get married at 25. And give birth to a kid at 26. That leaves just 3 months for...*

AFFM: "...and he is so nice. In fact he is right here. You want to meet him? You know he has just finished engineering!"

S: "So have a million other guys. I'll go meeting all of them or what?"

AFFM: *turning a deaf year to Sarika*" See? See that boy standing there? He only. Puddichidha(like him)?"

S: "He looks as straight as a kurkure."

AFFM: "What?"

Note: Any resemblance to characters alive or dead, is purely co-incidental.

I KEEL YOU!

2011-06-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

My friends, R and R, have come up with a name for my anti-friendly alter-ego...SK mode(Serial Killer Mode). The moment my forehead creases, my teeth clench and my eyes fixate, both the Rs sing "Gaya has gone to SK mode!!". And when SK mode takes over, I swear I KEEL YOU. When does SK mode take over exactly? Read on.

Note1: I KEEL YOU will be abbreviated to IKU.

Note2: This post is subject to additions!

1) If you call me "Sir" on the phone once more...IKU.

When I was 13, I called up this girl and her mom picked up. Instead of handing the phone over to L, she started asking L why a boy was calling and if I was her boyfriend. Once L explained that I was a girl, L, L's mother and I had a hearty laugh(or guffaw, in my case). At that time, it was downright hilarious. Now, it is plain bugging. It happened today with the Dominos guy on the phone(again).

Me: Hi I would like to place an order.

DG: Yes, sir. Can I have your name?

Me: Umm, I am a girl. My name is Gayathri.

DG: Ok, Mister Gayathri, what is your order?

Really? Mr. Gayathri? Asshole, have you ever met a man named GAYATHRI? And though I disclosed my gender before my name, you still called me MISTER GAYATHRI?

2) If you tell me about your love story/unrequited love, IKU.

What is it with people thinking I am even slightly interested in hearing their love stories? I have no inclination to listen to your pining and whining. Seriously, you shallow boy bitch, I am NOT interested in hearing about the girl you swear you're in "love" with though you hardly know her.

Note: This point doesn't apply to my friends. I love hearing about their love stories :)

3) If you(auto driver) demand more money than necessary...IKU.

This is dedicated to the auto drivers of Chennai. I have really come to appreciate this city but the one thing I hate is the auto driver. His excuses for charging exorbitant fares are unbelievable:

- "Night/Morning/Afternoon time ma" - then when is a good time to drive, pray tell me?

- "Petrol Price Hike ma" - Idiot. All over India there's a price hike and only you charge Rupees 10 extra per km?

- "One way ma. Suthi poonum" - Come on!!!

And you know what the worst part is? If they see you coming out of Sathyam/Express Avenue/any other mall, they charge even more. Fools!

4) If you send me a friend request without knowing me, IKU.

It's not even like I have a display pic of Hiedi Klum! My own stupid picture on Facebook still garners friend requests from sad people. I have put down few of the "gems" I received.

- Chat me - What?

- Hiiiiiiiiii. Your profile pic is very funny. Lollllllllzzz add me! - Ass, laugh at the pic and then get lost.

- Hai. Myself Mr. *****. I looking for frendship with nice, housely girl. You want to make frendship with me? - Mr. *****, learn English first.

Dad+Mom=?

2011-06-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

You know how every child is in some way a combination of its parents? And I am not just talking about looks...I am talking about the personality. I guess along with their gene they also pass on their idiosyncrasies. So I was thinking, am I the Z to my parents' X and Y? And after careful analysis, I have come to the conclusion that I am nothing like them. If you are totally jobless then you can keep reading!

-> I am totally careless with money.

I am not spendthrift. There's a difference. I just don't know where my money is. Over the years, I have found money in places unimaginable. Wedged into the CD drive of my laptop, stashed away in small purses that I have millions of but have no idea about their whereabouts, pressed between books long forgotten - I have a knack. Appa, on the other hand, is an ultra-organized person who knows each and every note in his wallet - to the extent that when I once took out a 10 Dirham note from his wallet(with full intention of telling him later, really), he knew it was missing.

-> I do not study much.

Seriously I Don't. Of course, I study right before an exam. But people never believed me in school because of my marks(which were good at that time). Only my friends knew! In college, obviously people knew I didn't study...hostel after all! But my dad was, and still is a huge nerd. He has narrated stories of him studying under the streetlights when the power would go out for hours, coming state first in -some exam, I forgot :P -, studying his elder brother's notes as well as his own notes - I know, right!?! Well he tells these stories with the intention to inspire but I just end up thinking, "Wow...you are such a nerd" :P

-> I cannot cook.

Well I cannot cook well. I mean I know the bare minimum like toast, Maggi, tea and even those turn out to be burnt most of the time. But my parents are awesome at cooking. Amma can whip up a feast in a matter of minutes. And she has tried to teach me but I always dismiss her with an argument about how she wants me to learn cooking just because I am a girl, blah blah blah. Feminist statements FTW!

-> I suck at speaking any language other than English.

I am from Palakkad. So I speak Mallu-sounding Tamizh. Actually, I think it sounds quite okay. But my friends mistake me for a stand-up comedienne whenever I open my mouth and speak Tamizh. And when I speak Hindi, my friends think I sound like the female in this video. On the other hand, my mom speaks English, Tamizh, Hindi, Malayalam, Gujrati, Marathi and Punjabi with relative ease. Appa speaks English, Tamizh, Malayalam and limited Hindi(after every word he adds a 'Yaar'/'Bhai' which he pronounces as 'Bai').

A post longer than this is guaranteed boredom, so those of you who are still reading this line, thank you :)

Not-so-family Movies

2011-05-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

The following situation would have occured to you atleast once: A chartbuster song starts flashing on Channel V/ M TV/ VH1. And as all videos nowadays have, how do I put this, bootylicious babes dressed in handkerchiefs. But hey, it's the song I want, not the girls. And then, louder than the song I hear something else. Footsteps..Parents Alert. Hurriedly, I reach for the remote and change the channel to something more appropriate. Atleast, with the TV, you've the option of changing channels...imagine sitting in a theatre, next to your parents, watching the same video, magnified gazillion times and all you can do is sheepishly look away. So I have painstakingly compiled a list of movies that put me through the above torture.

Side note before I begin: I didn't want to just start writing about the movie. I wanted to put up a picture of the movie first and THEN start writing about the movie. But my laptop is super slow. So I cannot even upload one microscopic thumbnail without my laptop seizing up. Oh yes you can ask me why we haven't got it looked at yet. My dad's response for that is "You're a computer engineer...you should know what is wrong with it!". Pfft...as if.

Chronologically ordered:

-> Titanic(1997)

I was born on a nice, rainy Thursday in the fine year of 1989. Which means I was in 4th grade when I went to watch Titanic(atleast I think I was). With my dear parents. And as much as I love them, which is a lot, I have to admit that they have the most annoying habit of staring at me(or my brother) when something uncomfortable comes on screen. So why I ask you, Rose...why did you have to lie naked with just the stupid blue rock on? Why did you have to do "stuff" in the misty misty car? I hate you, and I wish you had drowned instead of Jack. Ooooh Jack :D

-> Munnabhai M.B.B.S.(2003) - the one I bought from a dealer of pirated CDs

Confused? We got this CD...alright alright, the pirated copy. And so we are all laughing after the first half of the movie thinking, "Wow, this is wholesome entertainment for the entire family" and we put in the next CD. And it's not Munnabhai M.B.B.S. It is American Pie. And there are these female "cops" with all kinds of contraptions. Yeah, that was pretty disturbing.

-> Aitraaz(2004)

Akshay Kumar and Priyanka Chopra just had to get it on wherever and whenever they wanted to. And her dialogues have haunted me ever since. Yes it was pretty weird to have your mom watching you out of the corner of her eye while you are watching your mom out of the corner of your eye. Complex.

-> Salaam Namaste(2005)

Sometimes I dig my own grave. Guess who suggested we should go out as a family and watch this movie? Yes, it is me, the one and only. They're in a living relationship. I should have guessed before that there would be...umm...boinking! Although the highlight was when Preity was preggers and my brother asked me why her stomach was so big. I gracefully exchanged seats with him and switched him over to my mom.

-> Kambhakt Ishq(2009)

I loved Pammal K Sambandham. Not as much as Panchathanthiram or Chachi 420, but it still had pockets of humour. However, Kambhakt Ishq was just painful to watch. First, can someone explain to me how Kareena has the time to moonlight as a model when she is a med student? Second, Akshay Kumar. Third(yes my second point was just two words), the swimsuit scene, the songs, the skimpy outfits and the general eating-face scenes were plain annoying.

-> Saath Khoon Maaf(2011)

Yeah it is disturbing alright. Especially when you are sitting next to your mom and watching the movie. Priyanka Chopra should seriously kill herself for putting me through that torture.

How to show people you're in a relationship 101

2011-04-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Did you just get committed? Did you just find the love of your life? Did you just fall in true love for the 7th time? Well, congratulations you nail-filing, Edward-Cullen-loving, I-think-Taylor-Swift-rocks dumbass. Now that you're in "relationship" how exactly do you let your second cousin, twice removed's husband's mother's aunt know? This is where I come to your rescue. I have come up with a collection of tips just for you! Ready? Let the education begin!

Walk together...in any dimly lit areas that you can find. Just like in the image below. This will force even disinterested people to linger.

Walk together...in brightly lit public places and indulge in heavy PDA. Yes, it is extremely important that you do it!
When someone walks by you, move away from your partner noticeably and look down or just ignore the other person.
Girls, this one is for you. Situation: you're out with "your man" in a restaurant. What do you do? Answer: Do not eat...nibble/peck/say you're full after eating a noodle.
Restaurant scene again - you could try eating from the same plate. That's a move guaranteed to nauseate.
Write a note professing your love to your love on Facebook and -the following is even more important- make it public. Attention is bound to be yours.
Another Facebook move - Put up pics of your better half and you and as a caption, have "♥ you 4eva". WORKS!
If you ever get a phone call from your "soul mate", smile at the screen and say I'll just be back to your friends, and before you leave hearing radius, pick up and start talking.

These are just off the top of my head. Oh and another thing - go kill yourselves. Or at least, get a room!

The End

2011-02-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

A stabbing pain
I cry in vain
The tears go unnoticed.

I am alone, more
than ever before
There is no one in sight.

I try and tell
But betrayal
Follows, looming dark.

Happiness ceases
Depression increases
No one knocks at my door.

My broken spirit
My life without merit
I have nothing to live for.

End it fast
I breathe my last
The world fades away.

Growing Up or Growing Old?

2010-12-14T04:08:00.000-08:00

Recently, one of my very good friends, L, told me that I had changed a lot since first year(for the uninitiated, I'm a final year student). I asked her in what way. And her reply just sent me into a spiral of despair; she said I had become more serious, more mature and I laughed a lot less. And, everyone else seems to agree, including me.

I remember the kind of person I was in school. My friends and me were wee bit mental, but that was the fun of it! I mean, we used to laugh at almost everything. We never took anything seriously. Even exams :D

I remember this one time, when we all had hardly studied except Jinx(nerd of our group). I think it was Chemistry and we had like 21 lessons or something. Most of us had studied just 5-6. And that's the truth. So, we are all sitting silently in the class with 10 minutes to go to the exam and suddenly, if I remember correctly, Jass started humming the first line of the song Right Here Right Now from the movie Bluffmaster. And the effect of what followed was almost magical because each one of us - Munch, Jass, Pri and me- started singing, producing a very very good version of the original. Obviously, Jinx was staring at us like we had gone bonkers because we were interrupting her third revision.

Now, my gang loved this song for many reasons:

1) Even the bad singers could take part in the song, that is the Abhishek Bachchan part.

2) We all LOVED imitating Priyanka Chopra and her trying-to-be-sexy-but-failing-miserably act.

3) Pretty models in skimpy clothes + a bed still equals a very very effeminate Abhishek. Only possible in his case :D

Sigh...good times!

Anyways, I have decided to stop mopping around like the entire world is on my shoulders and just be happy!

By the way, the reason this post came up is because last night my brother T and me were laughing till we had tears in our eyes. It has been really long since that happened! Oh, and we were laughing over Malcolm in the Middle...it's awesome. Highly recommended!

Funny.

2010-12-12T06:53:00.000-08:00

One of the best comics I have ever come across.

Funny, right?

P.S.: Alright, you got me. I had no writing to do in this post. It's difficult to post everyday!

And the award goes to...

2010-12-11T09:13:00.000-08:00

Recently, our very own Mozart, A.R. Rahman, won two Oscars for his brilliant music direction, in Slumdog Millionaire. This got me thinking. We Indians do have an ear for music, but do we have an ear for words, rather lyrics? Take a look at the follwing.

Disclaimer: Take a breather and sit down. These songs might cause cardiac insomnia.

-> Cow dies,

Man eats,

Take the skin,

Beat the drum

Naaku Mukka(x14) - I'm ain't kiddin' here.

Yep, one of the biggest hits of the year. Got all of Tamil Nadu(dare I say India) on the dance floor. When there are lightning fast beats, who gives a damn about the lyrics!?!

-> When I close my eyes,

and I'm about to sleep,

My bedroom fan comes down,

And wakes me up,

And tells me to think of you

If you have a broken-hearted friend, who has a really big nose and atrocious spectacles and bugs bunny teeth, this is the song for him. Guarenteed to make you commit suicide after you hear the ghastly rap from Blaaze(who in my opinion might just be your friendly neighbourhood bathroom singer, nay, rapper).

-> Light a cigarette,

From the liver,

There's a huge fire,

In my liver.

This might be because Bips has a lotta bile(pun intended).

And to think that India once produced great poets like Rabindranath Tagore, Kalidas among many others.

I leave you with the best one.

-> Where is the party tonight?

(low pitched grunt)

It's in your house.

Where is the party tonight?

(yet another low pitched grunt)

It's in my house.

Where is the party tonight?

(low pitched grunt, again)

In the middle of the road.

Where is the party tonight?

(the last low pitched grunt)

In Tamil Nadu.

Lemon

2010-12-10T06:55:00.000-08:00

So, I promised a post everyday, and here I am. In my previous post I had mentioned that I have started cooking. The title of this post might seem confusing right now, but I guarantee that by the end of this post, you will know what I am talking about. Oh, by the way I have tossed in a few pictures to go along with the post, so keep a napkin ready...you might want to wipe that drool :D

Last night, I pushed my poor, poor mother out of the kitchen and claimed the territory. Though my mother was screaming bloody murder, I being the stubborn person that I am, decided to make a side-dish to go with the amazing chapatis that my mom had prepared. So, I popped into the fridge and decided to prepare what I proudly call "Cauliflower Zing".

And here are few pictures(Caution - they might cause drool):

Look at the rich beautiful green peeking between that golden yellow and yum brown!

And, for your information, it was delish!

And no, you may not request the recipe! It's a secret....muhahaha!

Am I forgetting something? Oh yeah, the name of the post. Well, I may have gone a tad overboard with the lemon juice :P

Guess who's back...ta-da-da....Back again!

2010-12-02T20:06:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is inspired by Eminem's song "Without Me".

So I know I haven't been writing regularly. And this time I have no excuse at all. I mean, it has been more than 10 days since my vacations started!

So what have I been doing all this time? Good question. And the answer is: not much. Or that's the answer I give my friends. Truthfully speaking, I have been doing a little more than 'not much'. I have watched 13 movies since I came home, I have cooked 2 dishes entirely by myself without any help at all from my mother, I have almost finished reading a book, and I have started watching Frasier. Jam-packed schedule, huh?

Point is, I have decided to write more, so here I am. I promise(and I hope not to break it) to write a post everyday. That's right. Every single day. So help me God!

Readers, prepare yourselves for lot of reviews, pointless posts and (maybe) a broken promise, because I am back(cue theme music)!

My First Common Crush

2010-11-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well, this was one of the more prominent ones. I still remember how my close, close friend Jass and I used to hang on to the remote, switching between music channels at the speed of light...waiting to catch a glimpse of 'Him'. Who is 'He'? 'He' is the most good-looking guy, the most awesome dancer, the most talented singer and the best music composer...well at least 'He' was at that time...to be more specific regarding the time=>when I was in 11th grade. Who is 'He'(this is the last time I use quotes)? See for yourself.

Yeah I know, he is not even that cute. He's a bit of a douche, really(see 0:38 in the video). Actually J loved him more than me. Much more. There was this one incident I cannot forget when she was walking down Rolla Square at 6 PM(rush hour).

Oh by the way, this is how Rolla Square looks when it's NOT crowded.

Anyhoo, she is about to cross the street when she sees this poster of him outside some shady video rental store and she stepped in front of a Hummer and nearly killed herself. But of course, the first thing she did after returning home was punch in my number and let out squeals of glory regarding how cute he looked, how awesome his hair looked, etc. Yes, she is mental.

I saw the video again a few days back, and I don't know why I had a crush on this guy in the first place! But I've to admit, he dances well :) He is the classic example of a person whose talent overshadows his looks. But more than this, more than anything else, the reason I still like this video is a memory I have. A memory in which two silly 11th grade girls swoon over their first common crush :)

The Placement Treatment

2010-10-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't told my readers yet...I'm placed :) *applause* Yes, keep sending me those lovely bouquets! It was a huge surprise actually...my tests were 2 days away and the moment I came to know that I got placed, my books somehow repelled my eyes(not that I was inclined to pick them up earlier but whatever). I finally feel I've accomplished something after 3 years of doing almost nothing :) Life has been good, people.

Anyway, the fun part is what comes after someone gets placed. In my hostel(Opal), we have a wide range of options to choose from...weather-dependent and what's-in-the-mess-dependent of course.

Rainy Weather

Pick up the placed person and throw her mercilessly into the extremely dirty puddles that crowd our quadrangle. Note that these puddles are a party venue for bacteria and red ants. You think it's over? Not so fast! Surround the placed girl and start kicking her, brutally. What about the girls whose boyfriends got placed? Throw them in as well! Someone's feeling left out...jump right in!!! I got this treatment, and boy, it was fun!

Thayir Saadham Day

Thayir Saadham/Congealed Goo lying solitarily in the mess? No problemo! Just ladle generous amounts onto the plate. Lure the placed girl out of her room stating some phony excuse. Surround her like a bunch of vultures around a baby harp seal. Scream...Aim...Fire! Combine this baby with eggs and she's bound to stink for a week!

Bumps!!!

The classic bumps treatment...no introduction required. Just wear your strongest shoes and kick the placed girl non-stop. She will be walking sideways for a week...guaranteed ;)

These are some of the decent things that I could put up for public viewing :D Geez, I'm gonna miss hostel :)

You have to push boundaries to make discoveries!

2010-09-11T10:39:00.001-07:00

Well, the title of this post was the 5th and final question in my Creative Writing paper. I had to write an original story revolving around this title. Now, you've to know something about me. I hate writing in exams. I keep my answers short. Very short, in fact. Whilst people complain about taking only four extra sheets in addition to the 18-sheet booklet that they already have, I rejoice after filling up 12 sheets with crap that no one cares about. Also, I love looking at the ceiling during exams. Somehow, the answers just drop into my head. This is, however, time-consuming and suspicion-inducing. So, I had about 5 minutes left to complete a 5 mark question. No time to look at the ceiling. And then I thought about my trip to Delhi-Jaipur-Fatehpur Sikri-Gurgaon and I decided to write the following original story...of course, I toned down the language in the paper :)

Jaipur was hot. It was hot, stuffy, and full of people. And forts. Every fort was a stone's throw away from another fort. And as it turns out, I couldn't care less for forts. I don't see the difference in the architecture of a fort built in 1800 and a fort built in 1810!

And the tour guides were just irritating. They claimed to take us "phree of coast" and give us "ejclujive tour" of the forts. While they gave us facts that were too unbelievable to be facts, we stood around drinking water, juice, kulfi(it melted)..pretty much anything to keep ourselves hydrated. By the end of the second day, we were too tired to lift a finger.

So on our drive back to the hotel, it was with great difficulty that we decided to see one more fort. And that, my friends, was one of the best decisions ever. When I walked into the fort, it noticed that it was empty, with the exception of a jolly old man sitting in a corner. He told me to look around; he didn't insist on giving me a tour. I liked him for that :)

I noticed a wide staircase and started climbing it. The walls were lined with faded paintings, but there was something so beautiful about the paintings. The paintings were so lonely, but so very expressive.

As I reached to top of the staircase, I saw a circular room. The walls were almost reduced to rubble. But they left a window that stretched on for half of the room's perimeter. And as I looked out of the window, I saw something that I'd never seen in Jaipur before. The dwindling streets, the quaint houses, the colourful shops - it was such a breathtaking view. I felt like I was in Utopia. I was glad that I decided to visit that fort. If I hadn't I wouldn't have believed that Jaipur was truly a beautiful city :)

18 things to do before I hit 25 :)

2010-07-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

It has taken me quite some time to think about the things I want to do before I turn 25 (This post has been a draft for more than a month!). In fact, it was initially "25 things to do before I turn 25", but I fell short of 7 :P

I would be happy if I did at least a few! Some of the things on the list don't make sense. It's just crazy stuff that I would like to do to have fun! Some of the things on the list are wee bit sensible. Here's to hoping I manage to do atleast half on the things in the list :)

Go Bungee Jumping!

Get blue highlights(and shock parents out of their wits).

Watch Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag. Must. Watch. It.

Learn juggling!

Somehow convey to George Clooney that I'm in love with him. Sigh!

Get a pet turtle or pet tortoise.

Learn the difference between turtle and tortoise.

See the Dead Sea!

Watch a cricket match live. Preferably Aussies against England.

Win a pani puri eating contest.

Visit Machu Picchu. It just looks so beautiful in pictures!

Go on an all-expenses-paid-by-me trip to USA with Appa, Amma and Tarun :) Oh and I hope that Tarun doesn't get food poisoning and ruin the trip (like he did when we went to Singapore in 2000...first and last time we ever went on a trip...)

Watch all the James Bond movies. Especially the Roger Moore ones. My god, he is awesome!

Say either one or all of the following: "How do you like me now, bitch?", "Oh no she di'int!","Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" :D

Buy an Audi R8. *drool*

Get a tattoo! Maybe some sexy arabic calligraphy or a dragon.

Pick up a cockroach -wait for it-with my bare hands -here's the kicker- without screaming.

Plant saplings. Go the Captain Planet way.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

2010-07-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well, not right now but exactly one week from now, my father would be accusing us of delay. See, this is how it works in our family.

while(journey)
{
switch(time)
{
case 9:00 A.M.:
Appa: We should leave at 8:30 P.M., maximum. Train is at 10:00 P.M.
All: Ok.

case 3:00 P.M.:
Appa: We should leave at 9:00 P.M., maximum. Train is at 10:00 P.M.
All: Ok.

case 6:00 P.M.:
Appa: We should leave at 9:15 P.M., maximum. Train is at 10:00 P.M.
All: Ok.

case 9:30 P.M.:
We actually leave home.

case 9:59 P.M.:
All: Yay! We made it.
Appa: Reeeeally...you people...next time, I'm telling youuuu...
}
}

So hell(NIT Trichy) beckons and I must be there no later than 12th. Yeah, bull. I'm gonna be there on 18th. I seriously don't want to go back this time. I mean, usually at the end of other vacations I say the same thing. But this time is different. This time, I really don't want to go back. See how I put 'really' in bold?

I'm most comfortable at home. At home, I'm an annoying, irritating, over-confident, loud-mouthed know-it-all. At college, I'm nothing like that. Maybe annoying and irritating. But everything else goes down the drain. I know it seems like I adhere perfectly to the character sketch even in college, but seriously, I'm nothing like that. This semester is going to be the worst yet. I'm absolutely 100% sure that my self-confidence level is going to be on the negative side.

I've observed that there are two kinds of people:

Chilled out-> I love these people. They're genuinely chilled out and they don't give a shit. How amazing is that!

Freaked out-> I love these people. They're genuinely freaked out and they are open about it. How amazing is that!

Then, there's the third kind.

Chilled out on the outside, freaked out on the inside-> I hate these people. They act like they've got their shit together. But one day, their pent-up frustrations give way to the freaked out persona.

I'm the third kind. And believe me, next semester is going to be full of mood fluctuations. Oh Genie, I just want one wish from you. I wish I could stay home :(

R.I.P. M.J.

2010-07-06T00:08:00.000-07:00

A little over a year ago, the King of Pop, the ultimate entertainer, the philanthropist and the benevolent human being , Michael Jackson passed away.

When I woke up on June 26Th, 2009, my grandmother came to me and said "I didn't want to tell you the moment you woke up, but Michael Jackson is dead". It's incredible how my grandmother who doesn't even listen to English music, knew who Michael was.

I was not a very big fan but I did like his music. And I know I'm probably a few days too late to pay him a tribute, but I'd like to try! So here's a list of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. Some obvious ones, but all amazing ones.

-> Thriller

An obvious one. I love Thriller. I first heard this song in the film '13 going on 30'. I've never met anyone who doesn't like this song. And the music video is just epic. You can watch it here.

Note: There was a Telugu version of Thriller. It was horrible...horribly funny after being subtitled by Buffalax(of Benny Lava fame). You can watch it here. Don't tell me I didn't warn you :)

-> They don't care about us

This song is brilliant. Just brilliant. I mean, with a song so controversial, MJ actually tried to unite people against racism.

-> Remember the time

I love this song. Seriously, of all the songs that MJ has sung, this one is my favorite. The music video consisted of various wizards trying to entertain the Pharaoh(Eddie Murphy) and his Queen(Iman). When it's Michael's turn, he starts singing to the Queen asking if she remembers their time together. The music video was actually marketed as a 9-minute short film.

-> Pretty Young Thing

This song was released in 1982. JabbaWockeez danced to this song in 2008. I watched the JabbaWockeez video in 2010. And 28 years after this song was released, it still managed to hook me onto it. I could not stop listening to it for 2 days straight!

-> Smooth Criminal

I love it. It's fast-paced and I'm not sure if I'm right, but it was the first time anyone in the world saw an anti-gravity lean.

-> Beat It

What an amazing song. And the video is awesome too. Michael brings two rival gangs together through dance.

MJ was an amazing artist. He gave the world of music so much. He really was the King of Pop.

Happy Birthday...to me :)

2010-07-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, it's my birthday today :) My 21st. So legally, I'm allowed to get married, get drunk, get laid. But I will not do any of those things, no siree! I shall spend my time at home, eating all my favorite dishes that were made by mom...ah, homemade food! I love this kind of "good girl"celebration too, mind you!

So, last night, I was on the brink of Dream-land when my friends started calling in succession. It was so nice to speak to them...though there was more of slurring as opposed to speaking on my part. And there were few messages that made me smile so so wide. It was amazing. I'm so glad to know I've such wonderful friends :) Love you guys!

And this morning, I was treated to so many notifications in Facebook. Man, it was so nice that people remembered my birthday, although I tend to forget everyone's birthday :P
And this afternoon, my sweet, amazing brother ordered a pizza and played "Happy Birthday" on the keyboard, while I substituted a cake cutting ceremony with a pizza-cutting ceremony :D

All in all, an amazing birthday! Here's too an amazing 21. Hope I do something worthwhile this year!

OMG :)

2010-07-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

OMG I've 6 followers :D Actually I've never had the guts to go public with my blog. I don't know why. Truth be told, I'm my worst critic. But recently, I felt something: why am I writing these things if I do not have the guts to share it with people? And that's the exact feeling that prompted me to go ahead and say "Oh yes I have a blog and you can read all of it at http colon backslash backslash blah blah blah". Do keep reading. I will blog more often :)

Oh, and I rarely use the abbreviation OMG. I just don't like it. And I know it sounds irrational but when guys use "OMG", it just seems so gay.

The Auto of Death

2010-06-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

7:00 P.M show. Toy Story 3 at Sathyam. Awe-freakin'-some. My brother and I are standing outside our building, waiting for an auto at 6:15 P.M. You see, I'm a stickler for punctuality in every situation except when it comes to classes. Anyway, after haggling with about 5 auto-rickshaw wallas, the 6th one agreed to transport us for a measly price of 90 Rupees only(Saligramam to Sathyam...yeah yeah I know I got ripped off!).

Auto no. 6 looked like all other autos, except it wasn't. We knew that the auto-rickshaw driver was a big fan of the movie Aethiree the moment he started driving. Remember how the comedian Vivekh, an auto-rickshaw driver in the movie, does all kinds of stunts with the auto? I couldn't find a video online, so just imagine an auto on a roller coaster circuit. While watching the movie, I did laugh at that silly scene. But ladies and gentlemen, sitting in such an auto takes away all the laughter from you. I guarantee that.

The driver kept humming and whistling Annamalai songs. No problem. The driver had Rajnikanth photos covering the entire inner surface area of the auto-rickshaw. Still, no problem. The driver starts driving like a drunk crazy monkey and screams obscenities at others, ie, sane people. Problem. At one point, he missed a Swift by an inch. It was so close my brother thought he'd end up on top of the Swift. Or under it. After 25 torture filled minutes, we jumped out of the auto and paid the guy. Oh, and when he was driving away...sorry, RASH DRIVING away, we noticed that the number on the number plate read "6666" which is almost as good as "666". Coincidence? I think not!

The movie made up for the auto ride though. Toy Story 3 was awesome! Seriously, the second sequel of most series end up being damp squibs. But this one was brilliant. The plot is simple. Andy is going to college. He has to decide what to do with all his toys. He decides to put them in the attic. However, his mother donates the toys to daycare by-mistake. Though Woody wants to come back and be there for Andy, the other toys decide that it would be better to stay at a place where they'll be played with and loved. After Woody leaves to unite with Andy, the toys realize that there may be more than meets the eye when it comes to the other "friendly" toys at the daycare center.

Superb storyline, amazing animation, and lots of laughs - Toy Story 3 is a thoroughly enjoyable watch.

New...yet again!

2010-06-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah new template again..I think this new one is a nice fun one :)

Hope my non-existent readers notice...seriously no one ventures into http://thepursuitofnormalcy.blogspot.com/. Is it that hard to remember or stumble upon? :P

What I did Yesterday + A Review Of Singam

2010-06-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

7:00 A.M.:
Dad(speaking at a volume so low that even bats wouldn't hear him): Wake up...Wake up...
Me: ZZZ
7:10 A.M.:
Dad: Wake up...Wake up...
Me: ZZZ
Mom comes into the room and in one swift motion pulls the blanket off my head.
Me(sitting bolt upright and screaming) : I'm awake I'm awake!
7:15 A.M.:
Me(still sleepy and nearly slurring): Zo why are allofus up so *yawn* early anyway?
Grandfather, Grandmother, Dad, Mom: In my day, if we slept till 7, we were reprimanded.
Me(talking to myself): Really?! In my day, we never even use the word "reprimanded"...

You see....I'm not really a morning person until I've had my tea/coffee.

7:20 A.M.(After Tea):
Dad: Get dressed. We're going for a movie.
Me: Wha..?!
Dad(proudly waving 6 tickets): We're watching Singam!
Me: *Groan*

You see....the last few Tamil movies that I watched caused me so much pain that I thought I was suffering from brain hemorrhage.
The last one I watched was Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya. I could bring myself to watch only half the movie.

The movie that I saw before VTV, was *sob sob* Villu. In the theatre. In Tirunelveli. After paying 70 Rupees for a ticket. Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

(P.S.: Click on the pictures...not clear enough this way...)

So you will agree that I had a good reason to be apprehensive. But no amount of reasoning could get me out of this.

8:15 A.M.:
The movie "Singam" starts.

8: 20 A.M.:
We enter the theatre. Late. By this time, Surya is bashing up men, men, and men. Oh, and also two women who are actually men but are dressed like women. Weird.

8: 25 A.M.:
We find our seats. Surya saves the day after beating the crap out of everybody.

In the movie, Surya is a gunda-beating, khakhi chattai-loving Sub Inspector. The movie is pretty much like any other movie after that. Surya beats everyone. Surya meets girl. Girl likes Surya. Surya likes girl. Surya beats everyone. Surya hates Prakash Raj, who is a don. Prakash Raj hates Surya. Surya beats everyone.

By the interval, we knew what Surya had to accomplish. Two major things:
1) Marry the girl.
2) Beat up Prakash Raj

The funny thing is, though it was predictable, I liked the movie. Vivekh's comedy was funny at places, but there was the ever-present glitch that all Tamil movies have when it comes to comedy; the movie and the comedy scenes weren't related. I've always thought they shoot the comedy track separately and just merge them with the movie at any point of time. Hmmm.

Surya was hot. No, wait. Surya was HAWT. He has acted pretty well and I liked him much more in this movie, when compared to Ayan. The heroine, Anushka, was fine. She did act(surprisingly) and she didn't look all that bad. Her character in the movie was a pretty strong one, which is what I liked. She was modern, unabashed and open about her feelings. And she even dressed up as a lion at one point in the film. Prakash Raj was good, as usual. But I'm really getting tired of seeing him in these "Don" roles. He is getting stereotyped. And that's bad, because he is an actor of great calibre.

The songs were horrible. At one point I thought my ears would start sprouting out blood. The lyrics for one of the rap sequences(background music) actually went like this :

You cannot stop him, yo!
He is the human Bolero!

The fight sequences were total crap. What really bothered me was everyone time a fight sequence would start, Surya would actually morph into a lion(singam). It was just for a second or two, but it was pretty dumb.

On the whole, the movie was fine. Not bad, not great. But loads better than any other Tamil movie I've seen for a LONG time.

Time Pass...

2010-05-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

So as you know...I'm jobless. And I thought...hey instead of stalking cute g...ahem I mean instead of wasting time on Facebook, why don't I try out some new languages. We We(That's english for Oui Oui in French...). And I wound up with this:
I just had to blur a few details so that my stalker club does not increase in size :D

Oh yeah...I did it with Paint...what!?! Me no know photoshop.
The one on the right in English(Pirate). Ahoy Mateys :P Check out my DOB and the prefix "saucy wench"...

And the one on the right..is English(upside down).
Seriously...who would need this!?!

Why...

2010-05-27T00:40:00.001-07:00

Apparently, lots of people have this question on their mind. I was surfing...scratch that...searching
Google just now and I typed "Why" and at that precise moment I tore my eyes away from the keyboard. And I saw this(click the picture to get a clear picture :P):

P.S.: Courtesy Nevermind I came across this amazing question here.

Guess who's back :)

2010-05-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

Yep...it's me, your friend, philosopher and guide...well probably not but what the heck?! Wanted to introduce myself with a flourish.

Now, back from where, you wonder?

The answer is: back from the deepest of the deepest chambers of hell, back from the place where hope and happiness cease to exist, back from NIT, Trichy. Don't smirk and raise your eyebrows....I know I'm being a drama queen. Truth be told, it ain't that bad. What makes it bearable is friends; what makes it unbearable is, well, everything else actually! Somehow sitting and eating shrivelled slivers of what we can only describe as "cabbage pakoda" in the mess with friends almost seems fun :)

So what am I doing right now?

Well, I'm surfing the waves of joblessness, I'm walking the path of uselessness - in simple words, I'm doing nothing. While many of my batchmates are doing projects in various IITs, and still many others pursuing internships in companies, I'm sitting at home wondering if I should re-read(for the 6th time) the Harry Potter series or watch Star Movies. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Sigh.

So what have I been upto since my vacations started?

Well I've mainatained a balance between reading and movies. I've already read the first 5 Harry Potter books and currently I'm nearing the end of the 6th one. As far as movies go, I watched August Rush(good movie, great music), Flash of Genius(great acting by Greg Kinnear), Badmaash Company(I liked it; word of advice though..do not watch with family. Watching Shahid and Anushka smooch is pretty embarassing when your grandparents and parents are on either side of you. My head was buried in the popcorn for quite a long time.) and Hot Fuzz(I watched it for the umpteenth time. It's so funny :D). And I also finished watching 1 and a half seasons of 2 and a half men :)

What plans for the rest of the summer?

Well, I really would like to get some studying done. You see, next semester is when I'll hopefully get placed and I can't really say that all I know about programming is that it has got 2 'm's :P

I will blog more often so look forward to a lot of posts :)

The annoying gaga over the saga

2010-02-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Nope, this ain't a post about the very annoying Lady Poke-her-face Gaga. This is a rant about one of the...scratch that...make it THE most irritating books of our time ever: the Twilight series. Hey, I don't hate all of it, mind you. Mindless sentences lie in every page of each book. Considering that my exams are starting in two days, this may not be the best thing to do, but I've selected a few quotes that have left me with a mind questioning Bella's sanity and a stomach ache from laughing too much.

After her break-up with Edward: I tried to act as if there wasn’t a hole in my heart that seemed to ripple.

Stephenie Meyer is a very smart lady. She has clubbed her biography along with the book by giving us facts about herself. Allow me to explain. From the above line we now know that in addition to being a horrible writer, Steph(if I may call her that) was a failure at biology.

When she went to the beach(after her break-up with Edward): I hadn’t ever gotten to go here when I was with Edward. The hole in my chest rippled and I started to breath hard. Slowly my heart beat returned to normal and the hole was patched. For now.

Ah Steph! You've proved your string of Fs in biology. Apparently, when holes ripple, you start breathing hard(holes rippling, hard breathing...Steph does know something about the biology taking place down there, eh?).

Actually I'm not sure if the next one exists in the book or not. But..what the heck..it sounds loke something Meyer would write.

Still at the beach: I wore a blue bikini with a hawaiian flowered sarong on my waist. I’d never worn something so revealing, unless you counted my underwear. I’d never been able to, with Edward and all.

Seriously, WTF!?!

American Psycho-amazing is the word!

2010-02-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

I don't like Christian Bale. I have never found him fascinating as an actor. And I maintained that opinion even after watching The Dark Knight, where he was over shadowed by the very amazing and sadly, late Heath Ledger. But I chewed up and spat my opinion in the dustbin when I recently watched American Psycho.

The movie is based on a novel of the same name written by Bret Easton Ellis. I've always believed in the saying "Don't judge a book by its movie.", but in this case I'm absolutely convinced that the book will be as mind blowing as the movie, maybe better.

The movie starts out with the portrayal of the lives of the upper-class in New York. And a member of this class, is Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker at Pierce and Pierce by day, and a murderer by night. 26-year old Patrick Bateman is portrayed as an intelligent, stylish and socially aware person. He works out, gets a tan at a tanning salon and argues with his friends over topics like what the society needs. He is engaged to Evelyn, a person he has absolutely no interest in. In fact, at the very beginning, Patrick himself confesses that he possesses no deep feelings for anyone. Throughout the movie, Patrick engages in casual sex with random women.

His first murder victims, a homeless man and his dog, reveal that Patrick regards poverty with utmost disgust. As the movie progresses, Patrick starts to lose his sanity. He gets jealous of his colleagues if their business cards are better than his and he starts talking about serial killers in everyday conversations. Eventually, Patrick goes on a killing spree. He murders and tortures his victims, mostly women. In fact, Patrick's contempt for women is apparent throughout the movie. Patrick totally loses his sanity one night when he imagines the ATM machine ordering him to feed it a stray cat. That night, he kills everyone he sees and he calls up his lawyer to confess all of his crimes. However, the next day when Patrick confronts his lawyer, he fails to recognise Patrick and mistakes him for someone else. This mistaken identity is a recurring theme in the movie. After the confrontation with his lawyer, Patrick begins to question his own sanity and realizes his confession was a waste. The movie is open to interpretation: whether the murders actually did take place or whether they were just fantasies, it's up to you(I think they were fantasies).
The movie ends with a sign behind Bateman that reads: This is not an exit. Very symbolic.

Christian Bale was just amazing in the movie. Even for a moment, I could not stop admiring the way he pulled off Patrick Bateman. I've been converted into a fan after watching this movie.

Another thing worth mention- this movie gives a lot of importance to music. Bateman chooses songs for murders. Spooky.

All in all, a good watch. You wouldn't want to miss it!

Yinglish Rap in Saangs..

2010-01-30T22:20:00.000-08:00

Them hoes and bitches, they drop it like that,
They shakin' that thang,
They go for the bling,
You get what imma sayin'?

If you get what imma...ahem, I mean if you understand what I'm saying then I can safely assume you grew up on the streets and you're from the block. Earlier, rap artists were from the ghetto streets. They had gun shots in their chests, they had bling on their vests, they were hittin' that booty, they were acting all snooty. *Slap* Whew I needed to snap outta the rap *Slap*.

Ah much better. As I was saying, right now, the "in" thing in the Indian Music Scene is Rap. Yep, in hindi movies, in tamil movies, in pop albums. And who's the leading Indian Rapper on da block!?! It's none other than Lakshmi Narasimha Vijaya Rajagopala Seshadri Sharma Rajesh Raman. Name doesn't ring a bell!?! Does Blaaze sound familiar to you? Yep, they both are the same guys. The Tam Brahm Rapper from Zambia has revolutionized the Music scene with his, ummm, rapping.

Hey, don't get me wrong but I love Eminem, 50Cent, Usher, Akon and many more, so I find the "rap" in the Indian songs an insult to the above mentioned real rappers. You don't believe me? Take a look at the following snippets from very popular Indian songs which have rap interlaced at every 30-second period of the song.

Let me break it down, I'm taking the top spot, She doesn't know it, But I've got a soft spot.

Just one doubt here: Is the soft spot in his head? Later in the song, he talks about how he's gonna throw a party and invite everyone to see his wife and think of the beautiful kiss that she's gonna give. Seriously, it sounds like porno. Is this guy for real?

BABA! That's what they say, B to the A to the B to the A.

Who the hell is the "they" referring to? The FOBs(Followers Of Baba) are super angry that they have been compared to the "they" in the song.

Mama told me, Don't be talkin' to the stranga, Don't be talkin' to the stranga, Stranga is Danga.

Well, I got to tell your mama that she don't be talkin' to anybody with her habit of eating up the ending letters of words(stranger->stranga, danger->danga). Oh, and her gramma could be betta.

Everybody in the pardy are you ready, say X! Gotta go with the flow, say P-L-O! Ready for me put the D to the E! E-X-P-L-O-D-E..Explode!!!!

Where do I even begin!?! First of all, he skips the first E. Then to rhyme, he puts in words like "pardy" and "flow". Need I say more?

A Hairy Situation

2010-01-17T06:36:00.000-08:00

Depression makes a person do weird things. Those things may not be entirely the solution to the problem that depresses you in the first place, but hell, it does take your mind of the problem. Even if it's just for a little while.

I recently clawed my way through a really rough patch. I needed something to take my mind off the whole saga. So I walk into the saloon and tell the hairdresser to cut my hair so short that they end where my eyebrows start. Unlike me, she hadn't lost her mind so she salvaged the whole hair affair.

Of course, I was not received with much enthusiasm at home. Note to self: Never, ever get a haircut when your parents and grandparents are together. It's annoying enough when the ladies start sniffing and talking about how long their hair used to be. But my dad was the cherry on the cake. I quote him.

In Tamil:
"Naal mudi thaan irruku. Adhuku nee haircut ku ponaya. Hee hee hee hee hee."

In English:
"You've 4 strands of hair for which you needed a haircut. Hee hee hee hee hee."

Sigh. He still hasn't stopped ragging(Oops I used the word ragging. Probably gotta get ready to get kicked out of the college!) me. My granddad added his contribution by saying, "It's almost gender confusing!". Why!!!!!

Luckily, reactions at college seem to be more favourable. They think it's cute...yay :)

PT!

2010-01-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

I was going through my blog and I was so surprised that I haven't posted about Porcupine Tree yet. So here goes.

My romance or obsession, whatever you call it doesn't really matter, with Porcupine Tree started in the my 3rd semester. Porcupine Tree is a progressive rock band from England. The front man is Steven Wilson. He's the lead vocalist and he also doubles up as lead guitarist. Oh did I mention that he writes most of the songs?! In short, he is insanely awesome. I love PT. Why?

Every song of PT is unique and different. It's really hard to believe that the band that gave us Lazarus, was the same one that did a Blackest Eyes.
For me, each song of PT is like a person. It has moods. Beautiful, melancholic, nostalgic.
Their live performances are just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I remember watching their concert on my laptop throughout the 3rd semester, to the point that I knew it by heart. Sigh, if only I concentrated this much on academics.
The drummer, Gavin Harrison, is kick ass!

Naturally, when I came to know that they were coming to IIT Bombay for Mood Indigo, I was out of my mind. I knew that if I didn't go for the concert, I'll never forgive myself. So for about a month or so, I kept checking online if they had opened for booking. It was luck that I got tickets for their concert. I mean, frankly I've never really wished for something and got it, ya know. So I was happy that the tide was changing. Finally, mera number aa gaya!

Oops! Spoke too soon. I didn't get train tickets to go to Bombay and I fell sick. Ah, here's where lady luck brings me back to square one. I thought that all hope was lost, but my mom was not one who takes such things lying down. She convinced my dad to get me a flight ticket to Bombay. Of course, that's my birthday gift in advance but what the heck! Hopefully, my dad will forget about this teeny weeny gift. The probability of that happening is the same as that of Love Ishtory(Himesh Reshammiya's upcoming movie) becoming a super hit.

Anyways, by hook or crook, I reached Bombay. I reached on time for the concert and I was so super duper psyched. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I had seized it. But life is never so easy. I thought I was done with getting myself to Bombay. I did not realize that there would be a line as long as the Great Wall Of China just to get myself into the Open Air Theatre(OAT). While I tried to get entertained by the gentlemen standing behind me, who were talking about how Splitsvilla should be renamed Slutsvilla, a girl came up to me and said "Hey! There's a separate girls' queue so if you have come alone(which meant without a guy, judging by the funny looks she kept giving me like I'm a lesbian or something) you can join there". What's going on in my mind: Thank goodness I'm single and I'm a girl. And guess what? The girls' queue was empty, except for the mosquitoes though. And as you know, only female mosquitoes suck blood. But I reached the OAT with time and blood to spare. I found a few college mates and I got enough space to keep my big toe on the floor.

The concert started. It was amazing. When they came out on the stage, it was like this surreal experience. His first words on stage were "Namastey". So cute! They played some really popular songs like Trains, Halo, Hatesong, Lazarus, Open Car, Time Flies, Blackest Eyes, The Sound Of Muzak and a few lesser known ones like Start Of Something Beautiful, Way Out Of Here, Occam's Razor. It was even better to watch them live. Steven Wilson kept the crowd on their feet, which meant I got more place to sit! The band gave a stellar performance. I liked the fact that they had a good mix from older tracks and more recent ones. The crowd was kinda the type you have in cricket stadiums. Lots of whistling and all, ya know. But once the music started they thankfully stopped the irritating whistling. I was just really bummed out when they didn't play Arriving Somewhere and they played only for 2 hours. But as people say, all good things must come to an end. The experience is still fresh in my mind. It's something I'll never forget. And hopefully, I'll get to attend another one of their concerts :)

Idiocy at its best

2010-01-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

I read Five Point Someone recently. I mean, of course I've read it before. After all, I'm studying in an engineering college, whose students deemed this book as "a must read for engineering students". It's been written by India's most "loved" author. I needed to read it because recently my results came out, and well, being a Seven Point Someone didn't seem so bad when I read about Ryan, Alok and Hari, as they're Five Point Someones. I'm not saying I like the book or its characters, but I do like the difference in the CGPAs. The fact that they're fictional doesn't matter to me, so ZIP IT!

A few days back, I watched the "movie version" of FPS, the much anticipated "3 idiots". Now, I don't know about you but I was dying to watch the movie. Come on, 44-year old Aamir Khan playing a 22-year old college-going, creative-thinking, gynecologist guy. Does it get any better than this!?! I liked the movie on the whole but the movie did have major flaws.

Pros

Ladakh. 'Nuff said.
Aamir. And he looked 22. Is he human or alien?
College Lingo. ViruS, millimetre, Silencer. Nice touch, added authenticity!
The song Zoobi Doobi. Very nicely shot and very cute lead pair :)
The message. The movie highlighted the fact that students are being burdened with impossible curriculum. It also highlighted the fact that those students who can mug better than others, can score better than others.

Cons

Boman Irani. His gigantic potential was wasted in this movie. ViruS cannot hold a candle to Asthana(Munnabhai M.B.B.S). Shame!
The fact that Aamir just assumed the identity of Jaaved Jaffrey and never got caught by the authorities/government. Shows that in India if you have money, you can do anything. Just flash the cash, baby.
Madhavan faked a heart attack to get of the plane and then they can't manage to hold him down in the airport. Oh, come on!
Gags in the movie that we've read a million times, courtesy e-mails.
The whole bit where Aamir plays gynaecologist. I was like WTF!

My final verdict is: watch it. In spite of many "idiotic" things that take place in the movie, it still leaves you with a smile on your face. I should mention here that though this movie was inspired by FPS, it did a much better job at capturing the youth. I think Chetan should quit fighting with Hirani for credit, because here's the truth buddy: Chetan should be giving Hirani credit ;)

Habbie Nu Ear!

2010-01-01T00:37:00.000-08:00

I absolutely have NO idea why I spelt the title like that. I guess GRE preparation finally got to me and I've forgotten to spell the words I already knew how to spell. For those wondering, I've finished 3 letters in the word list. Oh wait. The letters were X, Y, and Z. That makes it a grand total of 12 words. Man, I got to put that on my CV.

Anyways, in other "new"s(haha...get it!?! News and "new"s :P), the new year has dawned upon us, the old one slinking away with all those resolutions that we made last year still pending fulfillment. But we continue making those damn resolutions. Why? Probably to experience the feeling(even if it's only for a few weeks, in my case, hours) that we will begin the year with a sense of purpose.

So, I've made a few resolutions of my own that I want to share with you. Yes, you, my imaginary reader :) Some of the resolutions are new, some old, both with the expectation that they never have to be made again.

To become leaner, meaner and fitter: I actually don't need the meaner bit. I had to add it because "leaner, meaner and fitter" has a nice ring to it.
To study: To. Study. Two simple words in writing, but so very, very hard in implementation.
To write more, and by extension, blog more: Oh yeah, this is something I have to start doing.
To get rid of the accent with which I converse in English: It's kind of a tamilian and mallu accent. I have to get rid of it. Really need to get rid of it.
To get rid of the accent with which I converse in Tamil: It's kind of an "English" accent. I know, I know...so messed up that I can't speak even one language well :P
To enjoy life: Simple one, ain't it? I just want to enjoy every single moment of life. Squeeze the juice out, you know. However, I don't know if it's possible considering resolution number 2.
To read more: I have nearly left the habit of reading after entering college. However, it's going to be back with a bang this year. Hopefully.
This isn't a resolution: Ahem, I had to append another point, because I like even numbers. Couldn't stand the fact that my list had to end with the number 7. Oh, the horror!

That's about it, I guess. Hopefully, I'll stick to it and be back writing a similar post at the end of 2010, except on a more positive note :)

Happy New Year, guys. Hope this new year brings more width to your smile, more money in your pocket, more shine in your eyes, and more love in your life.

Avatar - Not Worth The Hype

2009-12-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

Avatar. I heard this word from my brother first who, by the way, is freakishly up-to-date with all the movies that have ever been made, being made, will be made, were planned to be made but didn't get made, were made but didn't make it to the theatres, well you get the idea. I heard this word everyday for the past 60 days. My brother would say an assortment of the following dialogues, just to be true to his motto "Variety is the spice of life".

"Hey, did you know Lord Vishnu has 10 avatars? Speaking of avatar...."

"Man, DasAVATARam soooo did not need those many avatars!"

"I will do a submission move(Undertaker) on you if you don't take me to that movie..."

"Eh? What hour?"

and so on and so forth. But as luck would have it, I was destined to get that long overdue submission move, as I had decided to watch the movie with my friends in Aamchi Bombay(Yes, I still call it by its old name). Anyways, we waited with bated breath, clutching our 3-D glasses oh-so-tight as we entered the cinema hall. Glasses on our eyes, popcorn in our mouths, we were ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime - or so we thought.

The concept is fairly simple and I'm very lazy. Which is why I've copy-pasted it right from Wiki.

"Avatar is a 2009 American science fiction film written and directed by James Cameron, and starring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver and Stephen Lang. The film is set in the year 2154 on Pandora, a fictional inhabited Earth-like moon in a distant planetary system. Humans are engaged in mining Pandora's reserves of a precious mineral, while the Na'vi — the sapient race of humanoids indigenous to the moon — resist the colonists' expansion, which threatens the continued existence of the Na'vi and the Pandoran ecosystem. The film's title refers to the remotely controlled, genetically engineered human-Na'vi bodies used by the film's human characters to interact with the natives."

Blah Blah Blah. Now, for the review. I liked this film in parts. The visuals were stunning. The story unfolded beautifully when coupled with the amazing graphics. Kudos to the whole team of Avatar. What I like most about James Cameron's story was it was brilliant to watch on screen. The beauty of the movie was the simplicity of the story. Ah, but this is where the movie fails, too. The narration was straight out of those magical books we used to read as kids. The story was so predictable. I mean, at every point of the movie I was like "DUH!". The actors were okay. They don't deserve more mention than that.

I loved the whole concept of the trees communicating as a network and I agree with Jake Sully when he says "I'm in love with your forest.". The forest is something out of this world...oh yeah it is actually out of this world :P
The trees, the Ikrans, the forest, Pandora....everything was nicely created. But the story, the actors, the irritating 3-D glasses just fell flat. Although I still would say that you should go for the movie, just for the graphics, but not expect much in terms of story, and don't get carried away by the hype!

P.S.: A very entertaining moment in the movie was when the name of a Na'vi "Tsu'tey" was modified by the gujju guys in the front row to "Su Chhe"-means "What you want?" in Gujrati :P

New!!!!!

2009-12-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

Oh well, a new template calls for a new post, eh homie!?! Well, I was just watchin the TV and suddenly this advertisement comes on, and I was like "Couldn't they have chosen a better tagline!?!". Anyways the ad was for a very popular shampoo(which I'm not going to mention but hopefully the smart ones will figure out from the tagline) and their tagline was:

"Making heads happier"

Now, THAT leads to twisted thinking ;)

The Big Fat (South) Indian Wedding - Part II

2009-12-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

So we're finally here. In the village(unlike the Shyamalan movie, this one is a bit less interesting, which doesn't say a lot about it). We manage to get 4 autos and fit 20+ people into them. To sum this ride up in one word, the word is: PAINFUL. I do NOT wish to expand on that *shudder* word.

Yay! We've reached. My brother gets scoldings in very clever ways devised by my mother. Check this out:

Wow! I don't need to iron my sari because you've done it by sitting on my lap!!

This statement means: "My sari has so many freaking creases someone might as well use it as a rag!!".

Man, the moment you enter the hall you're seeing yellow everywhere. That's because of the excessive gold ornaments. Not only that. Every female family member starts comparing by weight the jewellery. It's a horrifying experience. What's worse, I've absolutely NO interest(see how I put "no" in caps!?!) in such crap. But all the EDMs want to see something dangling on my neck because "I'm a girl", so I gotta.

Numerous sub-functions take place in the marriage. Something where the groom goes out of the hall and the bride's father needs to bring him back and convince him about the "pleasures" of married life, hope you catch my drift ;) And one where the bride and groom sit on a swing and all the EDMs sing songs. But all said and done, I do enjoy all this stuff. It's nice and mushy :)
A typical south indian marriage has a lot of delicacies to offer. I love the vadas(the Indian Doughnut, if you will!), puli inji(Tamarind and Ginger and Chillies in a gooey, spicy liquid), payasam(sweet). But that's about it. The rest of the stuff isn't really appealing to my taste buds. But it's "not manners" to leave food on the leaf, so I gotta eat everything. I've got a policy about food I don't like to eat. I'll eat it, BUT it'll be the first thing I eat. I finish it off at the earliest because I don't want to see it sitting on my banana leaf menancingly. This is where my dad comes in. He's got a policy about food I don't like to eat. He knows I don't like it, SO I've got to have it atleast twice. So by the time I finish one serving of avial(any vegetable you find in the kitchen, throw it in some coconut milk and *ta-dah*) I've got another waiting on my leaf. Ah, the joy.

There's this particular sub-function I would like to mention called nalungu. After all the smiling and marrying that the bride and groom have to do, it's time for fun and games. Now, there is this one game where a ring is thrown into an urn containing milk. Both bride and groom put their hands into it and the one who finds the ring wins. Now, it's amazing that almost every time the bride finds it first and, get this, she lets the groom win. Why!?! Why would anyone do that! Because they want their husband-of-few-hours to win, showing that they're a subservient Indian woman. Sheesh! Everyone present at the function now sings songs, and it turns into a competitive antakshari(Indian musical game) between the bride's side and the groom's side, showing that though both families have spent time and money on an event that will make us one big family, we still want to kick each other's ass when it comes to singing songs from forgettable movies.

Finally the marriage has come to an end. The bride and groom go off happily with the various gifts that they've received. And the other families go off happily thinking about who's gonna get married next and when the whole family can get together again. Hmmm...maybe I like marriages after all :)

The Big Fat (South) Indian Wedding - Part 1

2009-12-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

I hate attending Marriages- no really, hear me out! Every time my dad opens up an envelope that's got kumkumam(not the "very" educative weekly magazine, mind you - I'm talking about the red powder that signifies unavailability/marital status of a woman) and the Indian God of Prosperity on the rich creamy white background, I, for a moment, am blinded by the very thought of the garish outfits and gravity-defying jewellery adorned by paatis, maamis, perimmas, cousins. Not to mention the thought of my mom and other perimmas, paatis...(refer above) holding out heavy ornaments and chanting "JOIN USSSSS...". That seriously is straight out of a scene out of an alien invasion movie or something!

Anyhoo, this time it was my cousin X's wedding. Now, to get to the "town"(when I say town, I mean village) where she was to get married, we had to travel in an unbelievably stinky, slow train, which I love as much as the next guy, really.
Now as you know, in a train there's the lower berth, middle berth and upper berth. Along with this you have the side lower and side upper. My personal favourite is the side lower, for the obvious reason that I can orient myself in two directions. The lower berth is okay because that way I'm closer to my luggage. You see, stories of train thefts have freaked me out to such an extent that I cannot bear the thought of tearing my eyes away from my luggage. I usually prefer to get one of the above mentioned berths and not the complement of this set.
Considering we were travelling in a pack, this is how the berths are divided(for the sake of simplicity, most male and female family members shall be referred to as "Maama" and "Maami"):

EDM(Extremely Dominating Maami): Aiyyo(Uh-oh), ennaku(for me) back pain irruku(is there). Ennaku(for me) lower berth thaan(only) venum(want)!

ARM(America Return Maama - went for bout 6 months to visit his "look Indian but act American" kids): Oh very hot la(isn't it)? AC-la(in) book panneerkalam-o(should have booked-o)?(all this including the tamil words with a put-on accent!).

I always wonder about these put-on accents. Many thoughts regarding these wander in my mind in a nomadic manner when ARMs are talking to me.

Firstly, how do they develop these accents? I mean they've stayed in India all their life and then in a matter of years, nay, months, they are, how do I put this, "American-ized"!
Secondly, they name random places to show that they've "Been There, Done That". For the love of God!

So between all the EDMs and ARMs all the good berths are taken, and the kozhanthaigal(children) are left with the crappy ones. Again among the children there's the tedious process of assignment of berths. With respect to age and all that, the older children get to select the berths they want. Being the second youngest in the family, the worst one usually comes to me - like a side upper. Damn, I wish my parents had planned my date of birth better!

Travelling is usually the time I catch up on my reading. Reading is considered a "boring" habit by my other cousins, bless their ignorance. This is the time they catch up on playing cards. I personally have nothing against card games, but I have the worst memory ever! So if I ever play with them, they need to explain the game before I join in(which has lead to me being called "Ass" while playing, whaddya know, Ass). Funny thing is, I usually end up winning at the end :D(which has lead to me being called "Bluff" too ;) ).

Time to eat. Now I'm expecting to buy at least three of the, oh I don't know, how many ever Lays flavours that exist. But Noooooo....EDMs have pre-planned and brought along puliogarai(tamarind rice), thair sadam(curd rice) and even naarthangai(extremely sour pickle whose ingredients I've no idea about). Right about now, my expression is one of disgust.

Me: But amma, I HATE curd rice!

Amma: Okay, just have the -

ERM(cuts in): Ennadu(What)? Ponnu-aa(girl) irundhundu(being) stubborn-a irrukai(you are)?

I do not understand how gender has anything to do with food preferences, but that's how it is at home. At this point I'm like "Fine...Whatever" and I take the curd rice in a banana leaf, pretend to eat it for a while, and then finally just eat it. Ewwww infinity.

Finally, night falls. Gonna take another 6 hours at least to reach, without including the delay, that is. I climb onto my side upper berth and descend into a disturbed sleep. Oh god, I'm so tired and this is just the beginning!

Hashi!!!

2008-12-10T03:32:00.000-08:00

Well this word doesn't really seem to ring bells when I mention it to others though it seems to be ruling my life right now!

When I mentioned this word to people around me, I got some really funny responses. Sample some of them, go ahead!

- "Oooh is that Shilpa's new perfume!?!"

- "Hmmm.....I have heard of sushi."

- "Forget hashi!!! Let's talk about Hashmi(Emraan)!!!"

Yes, I have nothing better to do than chat about random stuff like vinegared rice and the likes. Sheesh, talk about the torture.

Anyway, hashi or hashiwokakero is an extremely addictive logic puzzle which originates from, well you should have guessed by now, Japan.

You are faced with a large group of islands and there is a number written on each island which is an indication of how many bridges can originate from that island. You can connect the islands only horizontally or vertically, no diagonal connections allowed. There can be a maximum of two bridges built from a particular island. And none of the bridges can cross or overlap with each other. Sounds pretty simple right!?! Nah, life isn't that simple. At the end of the puzzle, you need to make sure that you can reach any island from any other island. And, no island or group of islands can be left isolated.

I'll tell you one thing about it: IT'S ADDICTIVE. Do some puzzles right now, thank me later for introducing you to it ;-)

www.mathsnet.net/puzzles/hashi/index.html

WALL.E!!!

2008-11-29T07:31:00.001-08:00

I am writing this blog barely a minute after watching the most heart-wrenching movie I have ever seen. And I'm not talking about "Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum" or "Hum Saath Saath Hain"....nope none of that saas-bahu sh*t. I'm talking about "Wall.E". Yes, I can understand that you are staring at your computer screen trying to fathom why I would find this movie so moving *chuckling at my own wit here*!

I love the way they start the movie. You know, every movie that is set in New York starts with the camera roving around somehow magically in the sky(I still wonder how they do that!), focusing on the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building, the works. In this movie, they show skyscrapers whose building blocks are, well what I call, garbage cubes. And the person, rather robot, responsible for these architectural, ummm, wonders, is, *TA-DAH* Wall.E!!

For starters, I don't think I have found any metallic thing so cute. Wall.E makes me sigh....gosh he is such a little darlin'. The thing that struck me was his personality, and I'm sure you would agree to the same if you have seen the movie. He is such a curious little fella, and that I mean in a good way. I love the way he pokes around at the stuff that we humans wouldn't give a second look to. And he has a nice retreat filled with chimes that are actually made from CDs, and a toaster that actually holds a "Hello, Dolly!" cassette, that Wall.E watches over and over again.
I shouldn't forget to mention Wall.E only companion on Earth....the cockroach. Now under normal circumstances, I would lose my mind and kill a roach if I saw one, but this roach was adorable I tell you! Love it!

Now Wall.E finds himself head over wheels(hehe) in love with EVE. She is one tough cookie who has been given the job to determine if Earth can be inhabited by humans, who are actually in a spaceship named "Axiom". Soon, she also starts to like Wall.E(who could blame her?! He is so cute!). But then she discovers the plant that Wall.E had found in one of his "garbage cube making expeditions". And she is whisked of to Axiom. And our Wall.E, being the lover boy that he is, hangs on to the spaceship that going to Axiom, all for EVE *an "AAAW" moment for me!*.

Do the humans come back to Earth? Does EVE fall for Wall.E? Where is my butter popcorn? Watch the movie and you'll know!

Best And Worst Of Times!

2008-09-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

Worst Of Times

This happened very very very recently....all of us were on our way....correction....DRAGGING OURSELVES to the mess.....and we just stopped for a minute by the notice board....you see, we wanted to delay the going-to-the-mess activity as much as we could....when our eyes fell on this one notice. I shall state what it said:

"Opal inmates are advised not to eat in the unhygenic road-side motels/dhabas. All opal inmates are strictly instructed not to eat at any of the shops/motels/dhabas outside NITT campus."

My first reaction was something like "WHAT THE HELL!?!". It is really idiotic that the only thing that actually tastes like good food is being forbidden. And what the authority does not realize is that now whenever we read the notice, the only thing that will cross our minds is "DHABA DHABA DHABA DHABA....."(It's true...I conducted a small research in opal :) )! It has actually turned into the forbidden apple now ;)
And what is more irritating is that in any of the "other" hostels, such notices aren't put up....unfair unfair unfair! But it's okay....because when something is forbidden, it becomes more irresistible! ;)

Best Of Times

An outlet of Nescafe has been opened up INSIDE opal! Well this time my first reaction was something like "^_^"! I could not believe it. The countless times my friends and I had visited the Nescafe near the boys' hostels just to have a sip of that divine cold chocolate and fled from there at the sight of a blue uniform, were super fun. And now, we had what we wanted and that too within reach. But like I had mentioned earlier, when something is forbidden, it becomes irresistible.....

Profanity - What The F*** Is Wrong With It!?!

2008-09-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

It is really wierd what I experienced the other day....we were having a casual chat....and this friend of mine used the "F" word(as everyone likes to call it!) and to my surprise, another friend of mine flinched and put her hands over her ears! I mean....being in the BMW(my version of the Big Mad World!), it is important to adjust to all kinds of people around you, and it is plain infuriating that there are some people who still behave this way!

And frankly, I do not understand what all the fuss is about! People have just over-hyped the whole thing....atleast that's what I think.

Of roll calls and power cuts!

2008-09-06T04:17:00.000-07:00

The roll call - the one senseless ritual that guys are not subjected to, is actually fun! Now that it is accompanied by the 9:00 - 10:00 P.M. power cut, the fun has increased manifold.....how you may ask!?!
Well for one thing, the moment the clock strikes 8:50 P.M., me and my roomies "prepare" ourselves for the power cut(you know what i mean!). From this point onwards, we stop looking at our mobiles for the time(wonder what watches are for!) because we know that the TNEB is very very ahem efficient! So power goes exactly at 9:00 P.M.!
Now the moment we are plunged in darkness, everyone trudges out of their rooms grudgingly for roll call. "Luckily" since we are on the second floor, the moment we reach the stairs, the girls with Sony Ericsson mobiles switch on their inbuilt torches(damn Nokia!....Except 1100 ofcourse!).
The moment we reach downstairs, the incredible hunt for the missing roomie begins! The best part is that she would have been right next to you few minutes ago....but the moment you reach the line...POOF! She won't be there! Anyways after countless times of screaming her name, she will come panting saying "Sorry sorry I was in the mess"...ah the mess story!
Now when we reach the loooooooooooong queue, the real fun starts. With my roving eye, I spot those who push others in the line and those who irritated me during the day. They don't call me "Stealth" for nothing, so I slowly go near them and give them a jab or pull their hair...thereby decreasing the strand count on their head by atleast 5...YAY! Immediately I start locking and unlocking my phone at a furious speed in order to create the illusion of messaging, while my victim looks around suspiciously.
After the roll call, everyone drifts of into smaller groups. Some go back to their rooms, or others' rooms rather. Others stay back and chat incessantly about arbit stuff ranging from mess food to waist circumferences.
During the power cut, there are some who switch on their torches and emergency lights and write records and assignments(God knows how!) and others who sing stupid songs at absurd volumes! And trust me when I say "stupid songs"....most of them involve Bobby and Sunny Deol!
My conclusion is that, power cuts are actually fun, if you exclude the sweltering heat and the mosquitoes, because they bring friends together :)
HAIL POWER CUTS!

The Shining!

2008-09-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, I am talking about a classic horror movie that I had watched recently called "The Shining".....What a brilliant movie! Stanley Kubrick is a friggin' genius! I mean.....the man has directed the movie with mind-blowing finesse. And ofcourse, then there is Jack Nicholson, who according to me is God! He charms the camera and delivers a kick-ass performance in the movie. The scene in which Jack just stares into thin air is so scary! Also, the scene in which Shelley Duvall reads the manuscript that Jack had been working on is awesome. And not mentioning the little boy Danny would be a crime....REDRUM! A classic movie of the horror genre.....the Shining thrills and chills ;)