New!!!!!

Oh well, a new template calls for a new post, eh homie!?! Well, I was just watchin the TV and suddenly this advertisement comes on, and I was like "Couldn't they have chosen a better tagline!?!". Anyways the ad was for a very popular shampoo(which I'm not going to mention but hopefully the smart ones will figure out from the tagline) and their tagline was:


"Making heads happier"

Now, THAT leads to twisted thinking ;)

The Big Fat (South) Indian Wedding - Part II

So we're finally here. In the village(unlike the Shyamalan movie, this one is a bit less interesting, which doesn't say a lot about it). We manage to get 4 autos and fit 20+ people into them. To sum this ride up in one word, the word is: PAINFUL. I do NOT wish to expand on that *shudder* word.

Yay! We've reached. My brother gets scoldings in very clever ways devised by my mother. Check this out:

• Wow! I don't need to iron my sari because you've done it by sitting on my lap!!
  

This statement means: "My sari has so many freaking creases someone might as well use it as a rag!!".

Man, the moment you enter the hall you're seeing yellow everywhere. That's because of the excessive gold ornaments. Not only that. Every female family member starts comparing by weight the jewellery. It's a horrifying experience. What's worse, I've absolutely NO interest(see how I put "no" in caps!?!) in such crap. But all the EDMs want to see something dangling on my neck because "I'm a girl", so I gotta.

Numerous sub-functions take place in the marriage. Something where the groom goes out of the hall and the bride's father needs to bring him back and convince him about the "pleasures" of married life, hope you catch my drift ;) And one where the bride and groom sit on a swing and all the EDMs sing songs. But all said and done, I do enjoy all this stuff. It's nice and mushy :)
A typical south indian marriage has a lot of delicacies to offer. I love the vadas(the Indian Doughnut, if you will!), puli inji(Tamarind and Ginger and Chillies in a gooey, spicy liquid), payasam(sweet). But that's about it. The rest of the stuff isn't really appealing to my taste buds. But it's "not manners" to leave food on the leaf, so I gotta eat everything. I've got a policy about food I don't like to eat. I'll eat it, BUT it'll be the first thing I eat. I finish it off at the earliest because I don't want to see it sitting on my banana leaf menancingly. This is where my dad comes in. He's got a policy about food I don't like to eat. He knows I don't like it, SO I've got to have it atleast twice. So by the time I finish one serving of avial(any vegetable you find in the kitchen, throw it in some coconut milk and *ta-dah*) I've got another waiting on my leaf. Ah, the joy.

There's this particular sub-function I would like to mention called nalungu. After all the smiling and marrying that the bride and groom have to do, it's time for fun and games. Now, there is this one game where a ring is thrown into an urn containing milk. Both bride and groom put their hands into it and the one who finds the ring wins. Now, it's amazing that almost every time the bride finds it first and, get this, she lets the groom win. Why!?! Why would anyone do that! Because they want their husband-of-few-hours to win, showing that they're a subservient Indian woman. Sheesh! Everyone present at the function now sings songs, and it turns into a competitive antakshari(Indian musical game) between the bride's side and the groom's side, showing that though both families have spent time and money on an event that will make us one big family, we still want to kick each other's ass when it comes to singing songs from forgettable movies.

Finally the marriage has come to an end. The bride and groom go off happily with the various gifts that they've received. And the other families go off happily thinking about who's gonna get married next and when the whole family can get together again. Hmmm...maybe I like marriages after all :)

The Big Fat (South) Indian Wedding - Part 1

I hate attending Marriages- no really, hear me out! Every time my dad opens up an envelope that's got kumkumam(not the "very" educative weekly magazine, mind you - I'm talking about the red powder that signifies unavailability/marital status of a woman) and the Indian God of Prosperity on the rich creamy white background, I, for a moment, am blinded by the very thought of the garish outfits and gravity-defying jewellery adorned by paatis, maamis, perimmas, cousins. Not to mention the thought of my mom and other perimmas, paatis...(refer above) holding out heavy ornaments and chanting "JOIN USSSSS...". That seriously is straight out of a scene out of an alien invasion movie or something!


Anyhoo, this time it was my cousin X's wedding. Now, to get to the "town"(when I say town, I mean village) where she was to get married, we had to travel in an unbelievably stinky, slow train, which I love as much as the next guy, really.
Now as you know, in a train there's the lower berth, middle berth and upper berth. Along with this you have the side lower and side upper. My personal favourite is the side lower, for the obvious reason that I can orient myself in two directions. The lower berth is okay because that way I'm closer to my luggage. You see, stories of train thefts have freaked me out to such an extent that I cannot bear the thought of tearing my eyes away from my luggage. I usually prefer to get one of the above mentioned berths and not the complement of this set.
Considering we were travelling in a pack, this is how the berths are divided(for the sake of simplicity, most male and female family members shall be referred to as "Maama" and "Maami"):

EDM(Extremely Dominating Maami): Aiyyo(Uh-oh), ennaku(for me) back pain irruku(is there). Ennaku(for me) lower berth thaan(only) venum(want)!

ARM(America Return Maama - went for bout 6 months to visit his "look Indian but act American" kids): Oh very hot la(isn't it)? AC-la(in) book panneerkalam-o(should have booked-o)?(all this including the tamil words with a put-on accent!).

I always wonder about these put-on accents. Many thoughts regarding these wander in my mind in a nomadic manner when ARMs are talking to me.

• Firstly, how do they develop these accents? I mean they've stayed in India all their life and then in a matter of years, nay, months, they are, how do I put this, "American-ized"!
• Secondly, they name random places to show that they've "Been There, Done That". For the love of God!

So between all the EDMs and ARMs all the good berths are taken, and the kozhanthaigal(children) are left with the crappy ones. Again among the children there's the tedious process of assignment of berths. With respect to age and all that, the older children get to select the berths they want. Being the second youngest in the family, the worst one usually comes to me - like a side upper. Damn, I wish my parents had planned my date of birth better!

Travelling is usually the time I catch up on my reading. Reading is considered a "boring" habit by my other cousins, bless their ignorance. This is the time they catch up on playing cards. I personally have nothing against card games, but I have the worst memory ever! So if I ever play with them, they need to explain the game before I join in(which has lead to me being called "Ass" while playing, whaddya know, Ass). Funny thing is, I usually end up winning at the end :D(which has lead to me being called "Bluff" too ;) ).

Time to eat. Now I'm expecting to buy at least three of the, oh I don't know, how many ever Lays flavours that exist. But Noooooo....EDMs have pre-planned and brought along puliogarai(tamarind rice), thair sadam(curd rice) and even naarthangai(extremely sour pickle whose ingredients I've no idea about). Right about now, my expression is one of disgust.

Me: But amma, I HATE curd rice!

Amma: Okay, just have the -

ERM(cuts in): Ennadu(What)? Ponnu-aa(girl) irundhundu(being) stubborn-a irrukai(you are)?

I do not understand how gender has anything to do with food preferences, but that's how it is at home. At this point I'm like "Fine...Whatever" and I take the curd rice in a banana leaf, pretend to eat it for a while, and then finally just eat it. Ewwww infinity.

Finally, night falls. Gonna take another 6 hours at least to reach, without including the delay, that is. I climb onto my side upper berth and descend into a disturbed sleep. Oh god, I'm so tired and this is just the beginning!

Hashi!!!

Well this word doesn't really seem to ring bells when I mention it to others though it seems to be ruling my life right now!

When I mentioned this word to people around me, I got some really funny responses. Sample some of them, go ahead!

- "Oooh is that Shilpa's new perfume!?!"

- "Hmmm.....I have heard of sushi."

- "Forget hashi!!! Let's talk about Hashmi(Emraan)!!!"

Yes, I have nothing better to do than chat about random stuff like vinegared rice and the likes. Sheesh, talk about the torture.

Anyway, hashi or hashiwokakero is an extremely addictive logic puzzle which originates from, well you should have guessed by now, Japan.

You are faced with a large group of islands and there is a number written on each island which is an indication of how many bridges can originate from that island. You can connect the islands only horizontally or vertically, no diagonal connections allowed. There can be a maximum of two bridges built from a particular island. And none of the bridges can cross or overlap with each other. Sounds pretty simple right!?! Nah, life isn't that simple. At the end of the puzzle, you need to make sure that you can reach any island from any other island. And, no island or group of islands can be left isolated.

I'll tell you one thing about it: IT'S ADDICTIVE. Do some puzzles right now, thank me later for introducing you to it ;-)

www.mathsnet.net/puzzles/hashi/index.html

WALL.E!!!

I am writing this blog barely a minute after watching the most heart-wrenching movie I have ever seen. And I'm not talking about "Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum" or "Hum Saath Saath Hain"....nope none of that saas-bahu sh*t. I'm talking about "Wall.E". Yes, I can understand that you are staring at your computer screen trying to fathom why I would find this movie so moving *chuckling at my own wit here*!

I love the way they start the movie. You know, every movie that is set in New York starts with the camera roving around somehow magically in the sky(I still wonder how they do that!), focusing on the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building, the works. In this movie, they show skyscrapers whose building blocks are, well what I call, garbage cubes. And the person, rather robot, responsible for these architectural, ummm, wonders, is, *TA-DAH* Wall.E!!

For starters, I don't think I have found any metallic thing so cute. Wall.E makes me sigh....gosh he is such a little darlin'. The thing that struck me was his personality, and I'm sure you would agree to the same if you have seen the movie. He is such a curious little fella, and that I mean in a good way. I love the way he pokes around at the stuff that we humans wouldn't give a second look to. And he has a nice retreat filled with chimes that are actually made from CDs, and a toaster that actually holds a "Hello, Dolly!" cassette, that Wall.E watches over and over again.
I shouldn't forget to mention Wall.E only companion on Earth....the cockroach. Now under normal circumstances, I would lose my mind and kill a roach if I saw one, but this roach was adorable I tell you! Love it!

Now Wall.E finds himself head over wheels(hehe) in love with EVE. She is one tough cookie who has been given the job to determine if Earth can be inhabited by humans, who are actually in a spaceship named "Axiom". Soon, she also starts to like Wall.E(who could blame her?! He is so cute!). But then she discovers the plant that Wall.E had found in one of his "garbage cube making expeditions". And she is whisked of to Axiom. And our Wall.E, being the lover boy that he is, hangs on to the spaceship that going to Axiom, all for EVE *an "AAAW" moment for me!*.

Do the humans come back to Earth? Does EVE fall for Wall.E? Where is my butter popcorn? Watch the movie and you'll know!