The annoying gaga over the saga

Nope, this ain't a post about the very annoying Lady Poke-her-face Gaga. This is a rant about one of the...scratch that...make it THE most irritating books of our time ever: the Twilight series. Hey, I don't hate all of it, mind you. Mindless sentences lie in every page of each book. Considering that my exams are starting in two days, this may not be the best thing to do, but I've selected a few quotes that have left me with a mind questioning Bella's sanity and a stomach ache from laughing too much.

After her break-up with Edward: I tried to act as if there wasn’t a hole in my heart that seemed to ripple.

Stephenie Meyer is a very smart lady. She has clubbed her biography along with the book by giving us facts about herself. Allow me to explain. From the above line we now know that in addition to being a horrible writer, Steph(if I may call her that) was a failure at biology.


When she went to the beach(after her break-up with Edward): I hadn’t ever gotten to go here when I was with Edward. The hole in my chest rippled and I started to breath hard. Slowly my heart beat returned to normal and the hole was patched. For now.

Ah Steph! You've proved your string of Fs in biology. Apparently, when holes ripple, you start breathing hard(holes rippling, hard breathing...Steph does know something about the biology taking place down there, eh?).

Actually I'm not sure if the next one exists in the book or not. But..what the heck..it sounds loke something Meyer would write.

Still at the beach: I wore a blue bikini with a hawaiian flowered sarong on my waist. I’d never worn something so revealing, unless you counted my underwear. I’d never been able to, with Edward and all.

Seriously, WTF!?!

American Psycho-amazing is the word!

I don't like Christian Bale. I have never found him fascinating as an actor. And I maintained that opinion even after watching The Dark Knight, where he was over shadowed by the very amazing and sadly, late Heath Ledger. But I chewed up and spat my opinion in the dustbin when I recently watched American Psycho.

The movie is based on a novel of the same name written by Bret Easton Ellis. I've always believed in the saying "Don't judge a book by its movie.", but in this case I'm absolutely convinced that the book will be as mind blowing as the movie, maybe better.

The movie starts out with the portrayal of the lives of the upper-class in New York. And a member of this class, is Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker at Pierce and Pierce by day, and a murderer by night. 26-year old Patrick Bateman is portrayed as an intelligent, stylish and socially aware person. He works out, gets a tan at a tanning salon and argues with his friends over topics like what the society needs. He is engaged to Evelyn, a person he has absolutely no interest in. In fact, at the very beginning, Patrick himself confesses that he possesses no deep feelings for anyone. Throughout the movie, Patrick engages in casual sex with random women.

His first murder victims, a homeless man and his dog, reveal that Patrick regards poverty with utmost disgust. As the movie progresses, Patrick starts to lose his sanity. He gets jealous of his colleagues if their business cards are better than his and he starts talking about serial killers in everyday conversations. Eventually, Patrick goes on a killing spree. He murders and tortures his victims, mostly women. In fact, Patrick's contempt for women is apparent throughout the movie. Patrick totally loses his sanity one night when he imagines the ATM machine ordering him to feed it a stray cat. That night, he kills everyone he sees and he calls up his lawyer to confess all of his crimes. However, the next day when Patrick confronts his lawyer, he fails to recognise Patrick and mistakes him for someone else. This mistaken identity is a recurring theme in the movie. After the confrontation with his lawyer, Patrick begins to question his own sanity and realizes his confession was a waste. The movie is open to interpretation: whether the murders actually did take place or whether they were just fantasies, it's up to you(I think they were fantasies).
The movie ends with a sign behind Bateman that reads: This is not an exit. Very symbolic.

Christian Bale was just amazing in the movie. Even for a moment, I could not stop admiring the way he pulled off Patrick Bateman. I've been converted into a fan after watching this movie.

Another thing worth mention- this movie gives a lot of importance to music. Bateman chooses songs for murders. Spooky.

All in all, a good watch. You wouldn't want to miss it!

Yinglish Rap in Saangs..

Them hoes and bitches, they drop it like that,
They shakin' that thang,
They go for the bling,
You get what imma sayin'?

If you get what imma...ahem, I mean if you understand what I'm saying then I can safely assume you grew up on the streets and you're from the block. Earlier, rap artists were from the ghetto streets. They had gun shots in their chests, they had bling on their vests, they were hittin' that booty, they were acting all snooty. *Slap* Whew I needed to snap outta the rap *Slap*.

Ah much better. As I was saying, right now, the "in" thing in the Indian Music Scene is Rap. Yep, in hindi movies, in tamil movies, in pop albums. And who's the leading Indian Rapper on da block!?! It's none other than Lakshmi Narasimha Vijaya Rajagopala Seshadri Sharma Rajesh Raman. Name doesn't ring a bell!?! Does Blaaze sound familiar to you? Yep, they both are the same guys. The Tam Brahm Rapper from Zambia has revolutionized the Music scene with his, ummm, rapping.


Hey, don't get me wrong but I love Eminem, 50Cent, Usher, Akon and many more, so I find the "rap" in the Indian songs an insult to the above mentioned real rappers. You don't believe me? Take a look at the following snippets from very popular Indian songs which have rap interlaced at every 30-second period of the song.

• Let me break it down, I'm taking the top spot, She doesn't know it, But I've got a soft spot.

Just one doubt here: Is the soft spot in his head? Later in the song, he talks about how he's gonna throw a party and invite everyone to see his wife and think of the beautiful kiss that she's gonna give. Seriously, it sounds like porno. Is this guy for real?

• BABA! That's what they say, B to the A to the B to the A.

Who the hell is the "they" referring to? The FOBs(Followers Of Baba) are super angry that they have been compared to the "they" in the song.

• Mama told me, Don't be talkin' to the stranga, Don't be talkin' to the stranga, Stranga is Danga.

Well, I got to tell your mama that she don't be talkin' to anybody with her habit of eating up the ending letters of words(stranger->stranga, danger->danga). Oh, and her gramma could be betta.

• Everybody in the pardy are you ready, say X! Gotta go with the flow, say P-L-O! Ready for me put the D to the E! E-X-P-L-O-D-E..Explode!!!!

Where do I even begin!?! First of all, he skips the first E. Then to rhyme, he puts in words like "pardy" and "flow". Need I say more?

A Hairy Situation

Depression makes a person do weird things. Those things may not be entirely the solution to the problem that depresses you in the first place, but hell, it does take your mind of the problem. Even if it's just for a little while.


I recently clawed my way through a really rough patch. I needed something to take my mind off the whole saga. So I walk into the saloon and tell the hairdresser to cut my hair so short that they end where my eyebrows start. Unlike me, she hadn't lost her mind so she salvaged the whole hair affair.


Of course, I was not received with much enthusiasm at home. Note to self: Never, ever get a haircut when your parents and grandparents are together. It's annoying enough when the ladies start sniffing and talking about how long their hair used to be. But my dad was the cherry on the cake. I quote him.

In Tamil:
"Naal mudi thaan irruku. Adhuku nee haircut ku ponaya. Hee hee hee hee hee."

In English:
"You've 4 strands of hair for which you needed a haircut. Hee hee hee hee hee."

Sigh. He still hasn't stopped ragging(Oops I used the word ragging. Probably gotta get ready to get kicked out of the college!) me. My granddad added his contribution by saying, "It's almost gender confusing!". Why!!!!!


Luckily, reactions at college seem to be more favourable. They think it's cute...yay :)

PT!

I was going through my blog and I was so surprised that I haven't posted about Porcupine Tree yet. So here goes.


My romance or obsession, whatever you call it doesn't really matter, with Porcupine Tree started in the my 3rd semester. Porcupine Tree is a progressive rock band from England. The front man is Steven Wilson. He's the lead vocalist and he also doubles up as lead guitarist. Oh did I mention that he writes most of the songs?! In short, he is insanely awesome. I love PT. Why?

• Every song of PT is unique and different. It's really hard to believe that the band that gave us Lazarus, was the same one that did a Blackest Eyes.
• For me, each song of PT is like a person. It has moods. Beautiful, melancholic, nostalgic.
• Their live performances are just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I remember watching their concert on my laptop throughout the 3rd semester, to the point that I knew it by heart. Sigh, if only I concentrated this much on academics.
• The drummer, Gavin Harrison, is kick ass!

Naturally, when I came to know that they were coming to IIT Bombay for Mood Indigo, I was out of my mind. I knew that if I didn't go for the concert, I'll never forgive myself. So for about a month or so, I kept checking online if they had opened for booking. It was luck that I got tickets for their concert. I mean, frankly I've never really wished for something and got it, ya know. So I was happy that the tide was changing. Finally, mera number aa gaya!

Oops! Spoke too soon. I didn't get train tickets to go to Bombay and I fell sick. Ah, here's where lady luck brings me back to square one. I thought that all hope was lost, but my mom was not one who takes such things lying down. She convinced my dad to get me a flight ticket to Bombay. Of course, that's my birthday gift in advance but what the heck! Hopefully, my dad will forget about this teeny weeny gift. The probability of that happening is the same as that of Love Ishtory(Himesh Reshammiya's upcoming movie) becoming a super hit.

Anyways, by hook or crook, I reached Bombay. I reached on time for the concert and I was so super duper psyched. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I had seized it. But life is never so easy. I thought I was done with getting myself to Bombay. I did not realize that there would be a line as long as the Great Wall Of China just to get myself into the Open Air Theatre(OAT). While I tried to get entertained by the gentlemen standing behind me, who were talking about how Splitsvilla should be renamed Slutsvilla, a girl came up to me and said "Hey! There's a separate girls' queue so if you have come alone(which meant without a guy, judging by the funny looks she kept giving me like I'm a lesbian or something) you can join there". What's going on in my mind: Thank goodness I'm single and I'm a girl. And guess what? The girls' queue was empty, except for the mosquitoes though. And as you know, only female mosquitoes suck blood. But I reached the OAT with time and blood to spare. I found a few college mates and I got enough space to keep my big toe on the floor.

The concert started. It was amazing. When they came out on the stage, it was like this surreal experience. His first words on stage were "Namastey". So cute! They played some really popular songs like Trains, Halo, Hatesong, Lazarus, Open Car, Time Flies, Blackest Eyes, The Sound Of Muzak and a few lesser known ones like Start Of Something Beautiful, Way Out Of Here, Occam's Razor. It was even better to watch them live. Steven Wilson kept the crowd on their feet, which meant I got more place to sit! The band gave a stellar performance. I liked the fact that they had a good mix from older tracks and more recent ones. The crowd was kinda the type you have in cricket stadiums. Lots of whistling and all, ya know. But once the music started they thankfully stopped the irritating whistling. I was just really bummed out when they didn't play Arriving Somewhere and they played only for 2 hours. But as people say, all good things must come to an end. The experience is still fresh in my mind. It's something I'll never forget. And hopefully, I'll get to attend another one of their concerts :)