Not-so-family Movies

The following situation would have occured to you atleast once: A chartbuster song starts flashing on Channel V/ M TV/ VH1. And as all videos nowadays have, how do I put this, bootylicious babes dressed in handkerchiefs. But hey, it's the song I want, not the girls. And then, louder than the song I hear something else. Footsteps..Parents Alert. Hurriedly, I reach for the remote and change the channel to something more appropriate. Atleast, with the TV, you've the option of changing channels...imagine sitting in a theatre, next to your parents, watching the same video, magnified gazillion times and all you can do is sheepishly look away. So I have painstakingly compiled a list of movies that put me through the above torture.


Side note before I begin: I didn't want to just start writing about the movie. I wanted to put up a picture of the movie first and THEN start writing about the movie. But my laptop is super slow. So I cannot even upload one microscopic thumbnail without my laptop seizing up. Oh yes you can ask me why we haven't got it looked at yet. My dad's response for that is "You're a computer engineer...you should know what is wrong with it!". Pfft...as if.

Chronologically ordered:

-> Titanic(1997)

I was born on a nice, rainy Thursday in the fine year of 1989. Which means I was in 4th grade when I went to watch Titanic(atleast I think I was). With my dear parents. And as much as I love them, which is a lot, I have to admit that they have the most annoying habit of staring at me(or my brother) when something uncomfortable comes on screen. So why I ask you, Rose...why did you have to lie naked with just the stupid blue rock on? Why did you have to do "stuff" in the misty misty car? I hate you, and I wish you had drowned instead of Jack. Ooooh Jack :D

-> Munnabhai M.B.B.S.(2003) - the one I bought from a dealer of pirated CDs

Confused? We got this CD...alright alright, the pirated copy. And so we are all laughing after the first half of the movie thinking, "Wow, this is wholesome entertainment for the entire family" and we put in the next CD. And it's not Munnabhai M.B.B.S. It is American Pie. And there are these female "cops" with all kinds of contraptions. Yeah, that was pretty disturbing.

-> Aitraaz(2004)

Akshay Kumar and Priyanka Chopra just had to get it on wherever and whenever they wanted to. And her dialogues have haunted me ever since. Yes it was pretty weird to have your mom watching you out of the corner of her eye while you are watching your mom out of the corner of your eye. Complex.

-> Salaam Namaste(2005)

Sometimes I dig my own grave. Guess who suggested we should go out as a family and watch this movie? Yes, it is me, the one and only. They're in a living relationship. I should have guessed before that there would be...umm...boinking! Although the highlight was when Preity was preggers and my brother asked me why her stomach was so big. I gracefully exchanged seats with him and switched him over to my mom.

-> Kambhakt Ishq(2009)

I loved Pammal K Sambandham. Not as much as Panchathanthiram or Chachi 420, but it still had pockets of humour. However, Kambhakt Ishq was just painful to watch. First, can someone explain to me how Kareena has the time to moonlight as a model when she is a med student? Second, Akshay Kumar. Third(yes my second point was just two words), the swimsuit scene, the songs, the skimpy outfits and the general eating-face scenes were plain annoying.

-> Saath Khoon Maaf(2011)

Yeah it is disturbing alright. Especially when you are sitting next to your mom and watching the movie. Priyanka Chopra should seriously kill herself for putting me through that torture.