Thursday, December 13, 2012

Facebook For Parents

Dear readers,

I know I know I haven't written forever! But believe me, I had an iron-clad reason not to...you see, working as a Software Engineer has sapped all my creative juices. My activities have been reduced to:
  • Stalking people I hate on Facebook
  • "Upvoting" answers on Quora
  • Ignoring Google+ notifications
That takes up most of my working day. In between, I compile my useless code which, believe me, hardly ever works. But it serves the purpose of taking up enough time for me to go and ping a friend something like "Can you believe - what she was wearing/who she was snogging- on Facebook?".

Quite a few family members of mine are on Facebook. Not very active apart from the occasional wall post on their own walls(really) and mentioning my embarrassing pet name publicly to the delight of my evil friends(seriously). You know where they are really active, though? Matrimonial sites. Yeah, I had the distinct pleasure of gawking, spluttering and hyperventilating in office when I discovered my own profile on one such site. Very loudly, let me add.

With a choice between a sheep, a monkey and a variety of pictures with drinks and food and cartoon characters from my Facebook profile pictures album, they smartly opted for some picture of me in a Saree where I looked pained while flashing a fake smile. A million other invasive details such as horoscopes, star signs, caste and stool samples follow. I stumbled upon the "Personalized Messages" section and that's when I was convinced that I was in the darkest corners of the Internet.

By the end of the ordeal, I was experiencing a weird emotion where the urge to kill someone was greater than the urge to make funny about-to-cry faces. Okay not that weird, considering I have had this feeling a million times before. I am wondering if I should ask my parents to change my occupation to "Potential Serial Killer".

8 comments:

Saras said...

LOL Gaya :D i think "before next diwali" is coming true ;-) and btw hifi on the activities part (stalking ppl on fb etc etc ) :P :D

Gaya said...

Not if the world ends on 21/12/12 :P Haha hi-5 for being so useless! :D

Unknown said...

Gaya3 :) Lol lol lol..... OMG i cant beleive it ..Lmao. I guess i have an idea of which pic of urs would be updated :D

cmus said...

Link to the profile please.

:D

Gaya said...

@Anitha: You're thinking of the right picture :D

@cmus: Nooooooooooooooooooooo :P

Ammar said...

pls post the personalised message....just for our own evil viewing pleasure...pretty pls?

Gaya said...

@ammar: Do I look stupid? :P

I-Padmini said...

Gaya, you have my sincere sympathies! Of course, parents always have your best interests in mind, but hey! not very pleasant to suddenly see yourself on an unknown site!