Mission Impossible V - The IPL story

Mission: Get on TV during IPL match

Tools needed:

1) Tickets for CSK vs RCB. Check.
2) Dent in bank account. To be specific, a Rs. 1375 dent for the "Bagpiper special view". Check.
3) Hot friend(more probability of getting the camera to land on us). Check.
4) Weird props for cheerleading. Well, not really but hoping to grab some props from other spectators when they aren't looking. Check.

Preparation for the mission:
1) Tell everyone in office, including the China headquarters that I am going for the match. Check.
2) Dilly dally at work(in anticipation of the match, of course). Check.
3) Leave office at 4. Cash....I mean, Check.

Ideas that we flirted with:
1) Sit in a stand dominated by RCB supporters wearing red, while we wear yellow and support CSK. Smells like a death wish.
2) Hope for Gayle to smash a 6 so that one of us gets hit by the ball and we get admitted to the hospital. And then Gayle, along with the rest of the players come to visit us. Irrational much?
3) Get hot friend to gyrate sexily so that the spy cam spots us. Well, no luck there.

What really happened:
1) Cheering for CSK did not work. The RCB supporters started throwing their cheerleading props at us.
2) 1375? You would expect a nice seat. Well, the joke's on you. They were plastic Nilkamal chairs that creaked and groaned when you sat on them. I think it's because the rain weakened the molecular integrity of those chairs. Hmmm.
3) The match kept getting delayed. At about 10, we realized the match wouldn't happen since it was 2 hours behind schedule. So we trampled on many RCB fans' toes(the highlight of the evening) and managed to get out of the stadium.

The moment we were outside, the stadium erupted with noise and when we looked up we saw a little boy waving an RCB flag and calling everyone back. Naturally, being in the same stadium as 50,000 other people, you form a bond of mutual trust with them. So we ran back in.
At 10:45, the match got cancelled due to rain.

If you thought Mission Impossible IV was a flop, you thought wrong buddy.

Love Guru

Hello dear readers!

Yes yes, I am very much alive, unlike this blog. I was just having a rough couple of days. Deadlines
whooshing by and work stagnating in a half-baked state...not a good turn of events, my friend. Now that
I have realized work is never going to progress, I decided to pour my feelings out on this entertaining
(ahem) page. So, what am I going to be jabbering about today? Ah yes...single-dom and the makings of a
love guru.

I am a single lady. I would like to think it's because I am too 'independent' and 'strong' to be tied
down to some one. But basically it's because I have foot-in-the-mouth AND food-in-the-mouth
syndrome. However, let me clarify that I am not one of those 'Why doesn't he love me!?! I am forever
ALONE!' types. I genuinely have no interest in such shenanigans.

What's interesting is that even though I have never actually been in a relationship, people seem to look
up to me for advice. And I have no idea why. Apparently I give good advice and though it might not look
the case, I do keep my mouth zipped.

So how does one become a love guru?

•     No prior relationships:
  It's just like being a professor in my college...no prior experience and no knowledge about the subject whatsoever. Helps get an untainted perspective.

•     Bucket loads of patience:
  Seriously. Bucket loads. Buckets that can hold the tears shed by all the women in all Ekta Kapoor soaps. Because lets face it...people who are in relationships are stupid and unless you spell out everything for them a gazillion times, they're never going to understand.

•     A sympathetic ear:
  Breakups are inevitable. And once that happens, you will have to sit through a recap of their love story, what went wrong, who was wrong(obviously, the guy) and how the other person was the love of their life(do not point out that they went out for just 2 weeks). Even carbon dating will fall short while determining how long this saga will take.

•     The 'Awww' hormone: 
  Extremely important. He sent you a rose for Valentine's Day? Awww. He started watching Gossip Girls for you(of course, he's not watching it for Blake Lively's legs)? Awww. He said you looked like a Queen(although Queen Elizabeth is as old as a fossil)? Awww. See what I mean?

Damn...if only I got paid for my troubles.