According to my astrologer(s)

Hollywood's romantic comedies, Bollywood's movies and Mills & Boons/Harlequin novels have shoved various stereotypes down our throats when it comes to girls and weddings. The moment we were conceived, the wheels were set in motion. It all begins innocently enough.

Your parents make you watch 'The Sleeping Beauty', 'Cinderella' and the likes and you naturally put yourself in the Princess's position. There's just one difference though; while you're thinking about what your mother is making for dinner, the princess is checking-in on Foursquare at Horny-ville. Then, they hand you a Barbie and you're playing all independent career woman type games, i.e. Teacher-Teacher, with it and suddenly, they give you a Ken doll and a Kitchen set.

I am sure you can gather by the dwindling number of posts on this blog and the sour tone of the previous posts, World War III just got over at my house regarding this very topic. My parents have a lot of allies.

Relatives : "I just have one wish ma(the nth time they talk about 'one' wish)...that your child should poop in my lap".

Family Friends: "Your parents are saying for your good only".

But you expected those two, didn't you? I am going to give you a third category - Astrologers. Yes, these stargazers have been making weird predictions about my life and I couldn't resist sharing some of them.

• If she doesn't get married this year, then she will get married only after that. As opposed to wedging myself into a time machine and going back in time to get married before that?
• Nalla paiyan(good boy) she will get. America la irrupan(he'll be from America)! Dude, is this called fortune-telling? Firstly, you would never tell parents that their offspring was going to wed the spawn of Satan. And secondly, Tamil Brahmin Engineer will not be in America then where he will be? Don't angry me!
• If you want her to get married soon, feed some cooked moong dal to ants on Wednesdays. Okay, what? Do you have some sort of setting with the ants king or something? You know: In return for some cooked moong dal that some well-meaning people will give you, you shall stop raiding my snacks cabinet! Naansense.

Sigh...parents.

P.S.: Wow, it has been five months since I wrote here. And real-life wasn't even that hectic or exciting to make up for this inactivity!
P.P.S.: You could follow me on Quora if you like my incessant rambling. I am pretty active there.