Nope, this ain't a post about the very annoying Lady Poke-her-face Gaga. This is a rant about one of the...scratch that...make it THE most irritating books of our time ever: the Twilight series. Hey, I don't hate all of it, mind you. Mindless sentences lie in every page of each book. Considering that my exams are starting in two days, this may not be the best thing to do, but I've selected a few quotes that have left me with a mind questioning Bella's sanity and a stomach ache from laughing too much.
After her break-up with Edward: I tried to act as if there wasn’t a hole in my heart that seemed to ripple.
Stephenie Meyer is a very smart lady. She has clubbed her biography along with the book by giving us facts about herself. Allow me to explain. From the above line we now know that in addition to being a horrible writer, Steph(if I may call her that) was a failure at biology.
When she went to the beach(after her break-up with Edward): I hadn’t ever gotten to go here when I was with Edward. The hole in my chest rippled and I started to breath hard. Slowly my heart beat returned to normal and the hole was patched. For now.
Ah Steph! You've proved your string of Fs in biology. Apparently, when holes ripple, you start breathing hard(holes rippling, hard breathing...Steph does know something about the biology taking place down there, eh?).
Still at the beach: I wore a blue bikini with a hawaiian flowered sarong on my waist. I’d never worn something so revealing, unless you counted my underwear. I’d never been able to, with Edward and all.
Seriously, WTF!?!
After her break-up with Edward: I tried to act as if there wasn’t a hole in my heart that seemed to ripple.
Stephenie Meyer is a very smart lady. She has clubbed her biography along with the book by giving us facts about herself. Allow me to explain. From the above line we now know that in addition to being a horrible writer, Steph(if I may call her that) was a failure at biology.
When she went to the beach(after her break-up with Edward): I hadn’t ever gotten to go here when I was with Edward. The hole in my chest rippled and I started to breath hard. Slowly my heart beat returned to normal and the hole was patched. For now.
Ah Steph! You've proved your string of Fs in biology. Apparently, when holes ripple, you start breathing hard(holes rippling, hard breathing...Steph does know something about the biology taking place down there, eh?).
Actually I'm not sure if the next one exists in the book or not. But..what the heck..it sounds loke something Meyer would write.
Still at the beach: I wore a blue bikini with a hawaiian flowered sarong on my waist. I’d never worn something so revealing, unless you counted my underwear. I’d never been able to, with Edward and all.
Seriously, WTF!?!
4 comments:
You are totally right about Stephanie Meyer's being annoying!! I remember skipping whole paragraphs of her mindless rants. And I still haven't read most of Eclipse- just read the first few chapters and the last two. I knew the story by then :P
I know, right? I mean, what's the point in reading those "books" if you know the story 150 pages before it ends...uneventfully? :P
You may already have read this, but it may be worth a second look.
OMG :P it's so damn funny...I especially like the comparison between Bella and a Lego brick :D
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